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Preparing DS for baby number 2...

(9 Posts)
greenlizard Sat 03-Sep-16 14:24:57

My son is 17 months old and I am due number 2 in 7 weeks. What can I do to prepare him for the arrival of his baby sister? We read him books like "Mummy has a house in her tummy etc". He points to my tummy and says baby but in reality he has no concept of what a baby really is never mind what one would be doing in me!

He has much older brother and sister (16 + 14) who he adores and is generally a happy, sociable, active toddler. He currently attends nursery whilst I work full time and seems to enjoy that. He sleeps and eats well and is learning to talk.

What would your advice be? For example, should I get him a dolly?

Justwondering79 Sat 03-Sep-16 14:28:38

I have no advice but will be in exactly the same situation in 7 months time!

How are you feeling?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 03-Sep-16 14:32:02

Following with interest, DD2 will be 18 months when DC3 is born in December! DD1 was 8 when she was born so we didn't have to think about it lol.

ODog Sat 03-Sep-16 20:05:38

I spent months reading books and talking to DS's about the new baby and he responded appropriately when prompted.

Clearly all wasted as his reaction when we walked in with baby DD in ca seat was the point in horror and shriek "what's that!?"

He was almost 2 at the time and 3.5months in I think he's forgotten she was once not here. I stressed loads about it when pregnant and I needn't have bothered.

skankingpiglet Sat 03-Sep-16 21:09:42

I have a 2.3yo and a 10wk old. I didn't mention anything about the baby until a month before she was due as I knew she wouldn't fully 'get' it and would then be constantly pestering about when she would be coming. I also took DD1 shopping to choose a cuddly toy for the baby. She would point at my tummy and say 'baby' or 'sister', but TBH I'm not sure any of it really prepared her as even I found it a bit crazy and unbelievable that there was a real human in there (first baby I was convinced I was just going to birth a massive chocolate cake...).

We bought her a dolly (her first one) to bring back from the hospital with DD2, and dolly sleeps in a Moses basket next to DD1's bed just like Mummy's baby. She's obsessed with the dolly: feeding it, potty, changing it. I think it's really helped as we have one each to look after, and DD1 loves copying what I'm doing. She's become so confident (although far from competent of course!) in baby care, she now tries to help with her sister so I get her to help as much as possible.

I'm not sure there is loads you can do in advance with young toddlers to prepare as their comprehension isn't advanced enough, but many things you can do after birth to smooth the journey for them. We've found DD1 has become more clingy and suddenly wants/needs us to do so much more for her, when previously she was so independent she wouldn't even let us do things she found impossible. We've tried to overcome this by really focusing on her when DD2 sleeps (rather than using the time for housework etc), getting her to help in DD2's care, and one of us taking DD1 out for some one-to-one time occasionally. Plus I've learned to bf baby with one arm and cuddle toddler with the other. Thankfully so far it seems to be going ok, with DD1 being more demanding of me and DH (perfectly fine and manageable) but almost overly loving with DD2. My biggest concern was her taking it out on the baby, but that couldn't be further from the reality smile

DorotheaHomeAlone Sun 04-Sep-16 14:23:42

I have 4m old and a dd just turned 2. I don't think advance prep makes a huge difference really. She talked about the baby in my tummy and read the books etc but was still pretty upset when he arrived. She loved him from the getgo. Lots of cuddles and proud talk about 'my brother' and is still very keen. But she was upset by having to share me and having our little routines disrupted. Took about 8 weeks before she calmed down and stopped tantruming. I think less focus in the baby, regular time away from him and plenty of cuddles from me whenever someone else could take the baby all helped. But really it was time that made the difference. Good luck!

greenlizard Mon 05-Sep-16 15:38:58

Thanks for your replies. One minute I am feeling quite confident and the next minute I feel quite panicky! I guess it will all come out in the wash......

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 05-Sep-16 15:45:03

I'm the same as you OP! I have 8 weeks until my due date and Dd is 16 months old.
She lift my top up and cuddles and kisses my tummy and says "baby", and I have bought her a doll that she now carries pretty much everywhere! She shares her juice with the doll, tries to put her dummy in its mouth, wipes its bum with baby wipes when I change her nappy and like to put the doll down for a nap in my bed before she goes down for her own nap grin the other day, she had a full on meltdown when I tried to take her doll off her to put her to bed....and then she stopped when I let her put the doll in my bed with the duvet over it hmm

mrsreddington Mon 05-Sep-16 15:52:24

Dc1 was 21 months when dc2 was born. We'd read books to him, watched stuff on CBeebies about having a baby & spoke to him about it but i think what really helped was when we got everything out of the loft and told him it was for the baby. There was lots of stuff around the house for the baby, then the baby arrived if you see what I mean. I don't think there's loads you can do with a very young child

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