Are non matching socks so bad?

[morethanonebaby]

I have a good friend who has been a great support to me while I've had young children. But one thing she ALWAYS does is comments on what my kids wear. They are nearly 3 and nearly 1, and frankly I am quite pleased with myself if they have clean clothes on, and I have remembered to brush their hair.

She often says, 'ooh, her socks don't match' or 'where did you get that coat from?' (When it's clearly from a charity shop). What should I say? Why does she feel the need to criticise what my kids wear? BTW, she has 2 kids too, and is forever complaining she's knackered and worn out, so she must understand... Should I get grumpy with her, or AIBU?

[flanjabelle]

Well, the odd socks thing I think shows a bit of a lack of care. I will get flamed for that, but I wouldn't personally put my dd in odd socks. It just looks like you don't care enough to pair them up for them.

The charity shop coat is a complete non issue though.

[grumpyfarts]

I don't get the odd sock issue. They're socks... Why do they need to match? I wear off socks every day. Life's too short.

[grumpyfarts]

Maybe buy her one of those sets of odd socks like these: www.unitedoddsocks.com because she's always complementing

[grumpyfarts]

Sorry - posted too soon.

*complimenting your DC's

[Namechangenurseryconcerns]

The last pack of socks I bought were deliberately (I assume) all odd. Sort of complementary but different.
I often put Ds in different socks from the same set e.g a green monster and a red monster or a shark and a dinosaur but wouldn't put them in completely different ones unless I was desperate.
How was the coat clearly from a charity shop?! If it was tatty them yab a bit u unless that's absolutely all you can afford

[AnyTheWiser]

Does she mean they're not a pair, or they don't match the colour of the outfit?
I could never wear odd socks (as in not a pair) but I seriously doubt small children would be bothered whether their socks coordinate with their T-shirt etc.

[FinallyHere]

'Odd' socks are very, very much a thing www.oybo.it

These spark ridiculous levels of joy for me,

[Namechangenurseryconcerns]

Oh gosh I had a friend who matched all socks, bibs and hair accessories to every outfit for all her dcs.
I was in awe of her!

[morethanonebaby]

The reason she knew the coat was from a charity shop was cos I see her so regularly that she knows all the coats and shoes my kids wear. I don't have any older female cousins to give us hand me downs, so we had a nice rain coat from a charity shop, but which was obviously not brand new. She knows I go round charity shops and get my girls bits. So she always asks where things have come from. The other thing is, she spends a small fortune on her kids, and her partner has said to mine that she can't live within her means. So it annoys me that she implies neglect for buying clothes in charity shops! I'm on mat leave, and we still have bills to pay!

[morethanonebaby]

Yes, the socks don't match the clothes, and they don't match each other (they were both blue and flowery - from the same pack). It is really starting to get to me. She takes her two to get new shoes every 6 weeks from Clarkes. How to go bankrupt?!

[bloodyteenagers]

Long story short. I haven't paired socks for over 10 years. Not since we had all been away to different places (dc's school residentials in muddy places) and there was a mountain of over 70 pairs of the bastards.

[Haggisfish]

Meh. I pair socks when it's obvious snd easy, cba otherwise.

[VioletBam]

The mentioning DDs coat thing makes me think she's just not a nice person at all OP.

It sounds prying, nasty and bitchy.

Do you have to see her? Do you like her?

Pull her up on it!

I'd say "Mind your own business!" or "The coat fairy...what is this? The Fashion Police?"

And laugh. That will show her you're not up for her bitchy game playing.

[morethanonebaby]

She is really nice. I think she's a little insecure, and worries a lot about what her boys wear. The thing is, if my kids are in nice quality, clean (ish!) clothes, and socks and shoes which fit, I think I'm doing well. They are starting in a few weeks at nursery and she is making me paranoid about their appearance! Plus, it is just getting to me. Not sure how to make her stop without offending her.

[NightWanderer]

DD, aged 2, has around 30 socks, none of them match. I don't know how it's possible.

I do the same as you, as long as they vaguely match it's good enough for me. She'll grow out of them in no time.

Next time she asks, just say rather pointedly ' Why do you want to know?', or 'Nosey, aren't we?". She's being rude to you, so maybe be a little rude back.

[drinkingtea]

A good nursery will want you to send your kids in play clothes which are comfortable and fit well and are weather appropriate but which you won't be too precious about if they come home covered in paint or mud or lunch... or if a sock goes missing... - I think a good nursery will be happier with a parent with your approach to clothing your children than your friend's!

[OiWithThePoodlesAlready]

Seriously does anyone care about odd socks! I think if they do it shows a strange set of priorities. As long as the child is clean, warm and dry an odd sock isn't going to harm them at all. They aren't dolls to be dressed up, they are children to run around and play.

[strawberrypenguin]

We all wear odd socks here! As long as they're the same 'type' ie not on thick and one thin then it doesn't really matter.

[BertrandRussell]

My two always wore odd socks- they would split up a pair and have one each. They still do when they are both home- they are 15 and 20!

And how is a coat "clearly from a charity shop"?

[TwoLittleBlooms]

I don't put the baby (19months) in odd socks unless they are very similar or her shoes hide that they don't match. DD1 (13 years) and I, often wear very odd socks (through choice!)! I swear matching socks go in the wash and odd ones come out - life is too short to worry about it. If children are clean(ish - dd2 can be clean one minute and a right mucky pup the next), fed/watered and wearing clothes that fit (doesn't matter if they are hand-me downs, charity shop or new - so long as they fit and are in a good state of repair - we have clothes that fit in all those categories) then imo all is good.

[CannotEvenDeal]

I think odd socks look rather sweet on little ones and I'd only ever point it out in thst context, not to judge.

[MooseBeTimeForSnow]

My husband wears odd socks. He jokes it makes it easier to identify the body ...

[oldlaundbooth]

Meh to odd socks. DS went to nursery with odd socks on yesterday, they were from the same family though - think a multi pack of socks, but not the right colour. No big deal.

The coat is beside the by.

[Letmesleepalready]

My DD actively unmatched socks at one stage... Oh and she also wore 2 different shoes!

[lightcola]

My son sometimes wears odd socks. I certainly wouldn't say I don't care. If I sent him out in no socks when it's cold maybe... But odd is fine in my opinion. Life is too short.