Advanced search

My 9 month HV review experience with dd

(29 Posts)
judetherude Wed 31-Aug-16 07:23:11

I had my dd's 9 month review yesterday. I know health visitors get a bad rep but I've always had an OK experience with them, mostly their visits have been brief and the last one i saw was genuinely lovely and made me feel better about dd's sleeping (or lack thereof).

Yesterday though I didn't have a great experience, firstly the appointment was in the same room as another mum & baby and we could overhear eachother's conversations across the room, I thought this was a bit shit seeing as it's a small town and lots of people go to the same baby groups, not sure anyone would find it easy to say they weren't coping, or had pnd or whatever in front of other mums.

Then the HV said from my questionnaire that my dd had scored a bit low on communication as she doesn't clap when I ask her to or copy sounds. She does babble consonants and will hand toys to me when I ask etc.
She just told me to sing nursery rhymes and read books with her (both of which we do anyway).
Then she asked me if she was using cutlery yet! Which I thought was a bit weird.

I came away feeling like my dd is behind on stuff when my gut instinct is that she's fine.

Oh and she also told me to only bf morning and night so that she ups her solids and sleeps better. Now my instinct tells me that's not right either but am happy for someone to tell me otherwise!

What would you think if you had this appointment? Would you feel happy with the experience? Not sure if I'm just being sensitive!

Lupinlady5 Wed 31-Aug-16 08:36:00

None of mine clapped at 9 months - I'm sure a year is more typical

KittyVonCatsington Wed 31-Aug-16 08:43:28

Your DD sounds fine! I didn't have a 9month review but a 12 month one and my DD was still behind on quite a few things but my HV was worried so I'm sorry you came away feeling bad, although at our reviews, we too had more than one Mum in the room.

My DD did like to use a spoon at that age but couldn't pass me toys if I asked her so it's swings and roundabouts!

Put this all out of your mind and forget about it. flowers

KittyVonCatsington Wed 31-Aug-16 08:44:03

*wasn't worried

Nan0second Wed 31-Aug-16 08:44:04

My DD had hers at 10months. I was totally happy with her development until I went!
She was apparently behind in both motor and communication.
She started pulling up to stand the day before we went and I apparently "needed to encourage her to walk"?! HV then went on about when she would need referral for being a late walker(!)
Also, HV was v critical of the fact she couldn't say mama or dada.

I felt a bit down after the appointment but then realised that DD seemed pretty similar to all the other babies we knew. She had good fine motor and had clearly been concentrating on that! I ignored the HV.
Needless to say, DD walked at 14 months and can now say mama and a few other words at 15 months.

I'm not going back to the HV.

CoodleMoodle Wed 31-Aug-16 08:46:22

Pretty sure my DD could clap at 9 months but I don't think she was babbling very much. (She's now 2.6 and never stops talking.) They all do things at different times - as I'm sure you know! HVs aren't always the best at remembering that. Not in my experience anyway.

You'll probably find she starts clapping really soon. When we had DD's 12month review the HV was concerned that she wasn't trying to walk. Guess what DD did two days later...

Don't worry about it too much, just carry on the way you're going!

judetherude Wed 31-Aug-16 08:48:45

Ok thanks this makes me feel better! Dd can clap but when I ask her to without doing it myself (one of the tasks on the questionnaire) she just smiles at me. grin

She says mumumumumum and dadadadada but not in context.

But anyway RATIONALLY I know she's absolutely fine it's just when someone gives her a "low score" you start to doubt yourself!

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 31-Aug-16 08:50:50

I wouldn't he happy about having the appointment in the same room as another mum and baby, no. I agree that would make it harder for a lot of parents to talk about any concerns they might have.

Can't remember when my DC started clapping, but they certainly weren't doing much with cutlery then, other than maybe having goes at getting pre-loaded spoons into their mouths.

Re. the breastfeeding - both my DC (one bottle fed, one breastfed) were still having milk feeds during the day at 9 months. I tended to give them solid food first around mealtimes - e.g. if it was almost lunchtime when they were wanting a feed, I'd give them lunch so they'd have a go at the solid food, and if they still wanted milk after, were nearer a year before they were eating enough to not need / want milk during the day, and the breastfed one still wanted milk in the day after that if he was tired / feeling in need of comfort / poorly / didn't like the meal provided very much. Both were generally good sleepers, although we did get reverse cycling with the breastfed one for a whie when I went back to work and he was unable to breastfeed during the day.
So basically, if you're happy to breastfeed during the day, I'd personally continue letting your DD breastfeed during the day. Although if you're concerned about her not getting enough

MrsJoeyMaynard Wed 31-Aug-16 08:52:41

Aargh. That posted too soon and is a bit garbled!

But basically, don't worry about it.

judetherude Wed 31-Aug-16 09:17:48

Haha thank you, I am making sure I bf after meals rather than before now, her eating is still a bit hit and miss though. But I'll keep doing what I'm doing for now. Her night waking is so random at the moment I don't really want to throw the risk of her being extra hungry for milk into the mix. shock

NoahVale Wed 31-Aug-16 09:20:40

i remember feeling bad at my dd's 9 month check, as she couldn't roll, and I was told to encourage her.
She was my third and I was sure she was fine.
She is totally fine.
its a tough job being a health visitor, breaking bad news as it were.

Caterina99 Wed 31-Aug-16 13:45:42

DS is 14 months. He doesn't clap. Walks, talks, runs, points, uses cutlery (a bit), eats loads, everything totally normal developmentally. Just no clapping. No one has ever seemed remotely bothered about this. I even mentioned it briefly and was told they all do things in their own time.

Heirhelp Sat 03-Sep-16 15:47:37

Milk should be her main source of nutrition and food is just for fun until she is a year old.

judetherude Sun 04-Sep-16 07:52:19

Thank you that's what I always thought! In fact that's what most of the HVs have told me, it really is annoying when you get so much conflicting advice.

Also she said baby's don't "need" a dummy after 6 months. I don't really know what she meant by that, they don't really "need" a dummy at any point do they? It's a comfort, I don't see why that would stop at 6 months.

beginnersewer Sun 04-Sep-16 09:35:03

I think the development questionnaires the HVs are given to use are always a bit optimistic about what they can do at each age. Then because they've got this piece of paper asking if they can walk at 9 months (when very few actually can), they start getting worried about it, and worried that if they don't pick up on something they will be in trouble for missing it...
However if your HV had been significantly worried (rather than just mentioning something because it is on the bit of paper) they would have referred you to GP or elsewhere asap, not just told you to encourage them doing x.
The bit about another mum being there is not ideal but maybe they have no other space to use. Our reviews were in private rooms but all the health clinics were in a big communal room (though this was almost more private than one other mum because there was a lot of noise/chatter).

Poocatcherchampion Sun 04-Sep-16 09:39:54

I've got that paperwork downstairs half filled in.

My 10mo can clap but not without me showing him, he doesn't care if something is covered up and I can't be bothered to put a raisn in a bottle to see if he looks for it.

He is my 3rd and the other two could do some stuff and not others. You would know if there was a problem.

They tried to refer my dd at this age for not standing or walking or sommat. They did I think but I ignored it as we were moving. Funnily enough she can walk fine now - although her gross motor skills are probably her weakest area - climbing etc.

No, I wouldn't be happy to share a room for this.

AnotherRubberDuck Sun 04-Sep-16 09:52:10

All the health visitors I've ever seen have been terrible. Give out rubbish, even wrong advice!
Unfortunately they have to show that they've flagged up anything that could be an issue in the future, so it's just form filling and paperwork.
It's nice to be aware of the things the child should be doing around this age, and ways to encourage them. But it's not like they wake up on their 9 month 'birthday' and automatically do them, some start at 6 months, others at 12 months. This isn't reflected in the health visitor's info pack, just the average, and that's what they have to 'score' against on their form.

What I'm trying to say is ignore everything any health visitor says. If you're worried see a gp or nurse or someone who actually has qualifications.

MrsJoeyMaynard Sun 04-Sep-16 10:20:34

What I'm trying to say is ignore everything any health visitor says. If you're worried see a gp or nurse or someone who actually has qualifications.

I don't agree with that. There are HVs who give poor advice, yes, but there's also some excellent HVs out there. Ignoring everything a HV says simply because they're a HV would be foolish.

Also, I believe most HVs start out as qualified nurses or midwives, and then get extra training for the HV role. So they do already have some form of medical qualifications before becoming a HV.

NoahVale Sun 04-Sep-16 10:27:44

yes, please dont ignore health visitor's advice. they are trained professionals

Oblomov16 Sun 04-Sep-16 10:42:15

Why are we having these 9 month checks, if all it achieves is HV worrying and upsetting mums?
Not all HV's are bad. But a lot are. There are 100's and 100's of posts on MN to prove this. I think the whole question of HV's should be reviewed.

judetherude Sun 04-Sep-16 10:43:25

I wouldn't wilfully ignore advice but I do think alot of it is their personal opinion rather than health advice, that hv telling me to increase solids to help her sleep while another told me it makes no difference, for instance.

I do wonder if health visitors will exist in 10 years time though, their role seem a bit wishywashy these days.

Oh and poocatcher that raisin in a bottle question was utterly random wasn't it. grin

judetherude Sun 04-Sep-16 10:46:04

X post with oblomov, I agree, i don't even really know what they'd do if they refer at this age, it seems to be widely acknowledged that babies develop at different rates, a tick box questionnaire doesn't seem to be a great indicator of what's going on.

NoahVale Sun 04-Sep-16 13:07:19

but we cant know who mn posters are, be wary, we do know HV are qualified.

Cocolocos Sun 04-Sep-16 17:28:06

Ours obviously have far lower expectations. Our 9 month checklist has things like can sit unaided, can they eat finger foods, do they babble. Seems far more realistic than expecting them to be using cutlery!

judetherude Sun 04-Sep-16 19:37:10

but we cant know who mn posters are, be wary, we do know* HV are qualified.*

I'm absolutely not dismissing their qualifications, however a lot of the advice they give is just opinion. It must be, otherwise why would it conflict with other hv advice so much?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now