Am I being a bitch?(13 Posts)
Hi I just wondering if I am being a cow or I have valid points? These are just some examples of me and partner falling out over our LB who is 10 weeks.
Tonight I changed our LO and put him in a vest. OH said leave him in nappy and I said no he kicks the blankets off and the temp drops in the night. Then when i fed him,OH wanted cuddles which obviously is fine. He laid LO in bed next to him both laying on their sides. OH began falling asleep. I just said please don't fall asleep like that, you could roll abit and suffocate him and he's meant to be on his back. Well all hell broke loose!! Apparently I'm selfish, think I know best, stupid etc just for saying this. Even though I said cuddles were great but don't fall asleep.
Another example was when LO was 2 weeks old he was throwing up all the time and not well. Apparently I was over reacting saying there is something wrong with him. Turns out he has a milk allergy and reflux.
I just feel like he tries to make me feel stupid and like a cow when in fact I think I have valid points and wouldn't want harm to come to my LB. there are more examples but this thread would go on forever! Am I being a cow? Would be good to see what other people think as I feel bad now!
You are absolutely not being a cow.
You are giving yoyr OH good advice and information and for some reason he is getting shitty with you about it.
My guess would be because he's embarrassed that he doesn't already know the information himself and is covering this with anger.
Of course you are not.
Most mums ( I don't want to generalise) worry a lot, as in a lot inc me.
Whenever I am not comfortable on sth I always tell of DH like always washing hands or using hand sanitisers every now and then before carrying LO. Sometimes, he will counter argue about things like " I am paranoid or I worry too much' but at the end of the day he will actually do what Is I am telling him as he knows I only want the best for LO, safe, healthy, and loved.
Don't be too hard on yourself. TAke it easy
Co-sleeping is fine as long as he's not been drinking. He should be on his back but some babies will always turn over.
The milk allergy thing. Sounds like your mothers intuition kicked in and I wonder if he's the opposite with no intuition. Mine can be totally unaware at times and it has led to my DC seriously over heating twice.
Some men don't like to feel women know better.
Thanks for your replies, I don't feel so bad anymore. I admit I do worry a lot but he is my first so this is probably normal. My OH is 8 years older than me and I think he feels he is wiser as he does make a few comments here and there. Whenever I say something like he's meant to sleep on his back etc. I always get and "where did you get that from? The Internet". Like what I am saying is a load of nonsense.
Glad to hear that.
With me I hear
*You and your google'
statement from him all the time.
I replied on your other thread. I think you accidentally posted twice.
Here's what I wrote there:
I had a disagreement with how far open the window should be. My husband has a weird notion that any draft is terrible for a baby. I am slightly obsessed with the temperature of our bedroom and sids. My husband is in a strop about it STILL! This is not helped by the fact that he forgot to turn his 5.30am alarm off and it woke our 11 week old. I am in trouble because I took the opportunity to ask if he'd tried to turn the alarm volume down in settings
like I have asked every single morning!!! Sorry, I went off on a personal rant there! Husband is now downstairs clattering around making himself a cup of tea and won't come back up I'm sure. Nob.
Anyway. New parents are often exhausted and can be quite snappy with each other. Mix that in with having different approaches to parenting and you have to communicate thoughtfully. Easier said than done when tired. we weren't there to hear how you phrased it or what your tone was like. His response sounds ott and he shouldn't be speaking to you like that. Could you try and sit down with him today to discuss it?
You're being a mother! You're no way being a cow or over reacting at all.
Think your partner doesn't like being told what to do/ not to do.
Even though you're not being a dick, he's probably seeing you telling him things as you're overruling him.
I get it, but when it comes to the safety of your baby, I'd rather the argument than to compromise on safety!.
Seven201 oops yea I did. New to this whole MN thing. W
We have also had the window argument many times as I'm slightly obsessed with the room temp and sids. "Nob" did make me chuckle. That's true sleep deprivation probably does play a big part in this however he does like to be right all the time! Oh he doesn't do sitting down to talk and sort it out. It's his points are right, mine are not. Like banging my head against a wall.
He told me he's going to stop listening to mr regarding my LO and just do what he wants now.
Exactly all I want is for my LO to be safe and healthy. He forgets I'm with him 24/7 so I know his behaviours. I don't think I know everything but I Def make sure I'm clued up on safety things. Just doesn't like to be told a different thing to what he's saying
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.