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I love my kids, I do but today I walked out and drove away.

(42 Posts)
jimijack Sat 20-Aug-16 19:37:19

I had just had enough.
The bickering, arguing, non stop fighting. I'm sick to death of being hit, punched, kicked and hurt by my 3 year old. The screaming and shouting.
They won't do as I tell them.
They are 13 & 3.

I was just finished with it.

I'm ashamed.
They have no sn. 3 year old is moving through the various phases that toddlers go through, I understand this.
Sometimes it is overwhelming.
Dh has been studying for his degree, went into the garage to do some work so I was left with them. I had taken them out all morning to give him peace.

I got into the car and drove off.

I'm ashamed to say that last week I worked 70 hours to get away from it, I go to work for peace and a rest.
I feel I want to leave permanently. I need to tell dh this as I know he will make it all ok for me, but I'm so ashamed and embarrassed that I feel this way towards my own children.

It's SO hard some days.

helenatroy Sat 20-Aug-16 19:39:08

Are you ok?

helenatroy Sat 20-Aug-16 19:40:29

Tell your DH straight away that they are alone.

ImperialBlether Sat 20-Aug-16 19:43:24

That sounds really tough. I think you need to talk to your DH immediately and speak to your GP or health visitor about your three year old's behaviour, too.

Maybe your being out at work so much isn't helping this, do you think? If you're at work 70 hours a week, when are you seeing them? You must be totally exhausted, too.

flowers for you. Phone your husband and tell him you're out for another hour, then go for a coffee somewhere and try to relax before you go home.

ImperialBlether Sat 20-Aug-16 19:44:08

Why is your husband working towards his degree in August? I would have thought universities were all on holiday now.

megletthesecond Sat 20-Aug-16 19:45:32

I get close to this some weekends, the fighting and back chat exhaust me. Can't do it though as I'm a lp.

Are you feeling a bit better now?

Lunar1 Sat 20-Aug-16 19:47:06

Does their dad know they are alone? Let him know as this will reduce your immediate stress slightly then come back to the thread. flowers

Lunar1 Sat 20-Aug-16 19:47:30

Does their dad know they are alone? Let him know as this will reduce your immediate stress slightly then come back to the thread. flowers

doing Sat 20-Aug-16 19:48:05

Don't beat yourself up about leaving them alone - the 13 year old would be fine keeping an eye on the 3 year old for a bit.

Your husband needs to support you more if you're finding it hard. Do you get much time to yourself?

I work for the peace and quiet as well. I thought everyone did?!

jimijack Sat 20-Aug-16 19:51:10

Been back a couple of hours, had a bath, dh made me a chip butty, 3 year old bathed, pjs on big cuddles are DEVINE.
Dh has 2 exams next week, he still has revision and course work to complete while uni is not open. He works full time too.

He is SO good at parenting, I'm shite in comparison.

doing Sat 20-Aug-16 19:52:17

You've just had a bad day.

CookieDoughKid Sat 20-Aug-16 19:54:44

Parenting is hard. REALLY hard and unrelentless. I have days like this and the noise level us unbearable. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be a martyr. Get support. Ring a friend for a chat. What you feel is completely normal. And you're still a great mum!

GoldFishFingerz Sat 20-Aug-16 19:54:50

buy some parenting books
From Amazon. Increase your parenting skills.

Do you get down time away fromeberyone?

FloweryTwat Sat 20-Aug-16 19:59:26

You're not shite, do you hold the fort around the house as well? Sort out the dc and all the domestic stuff while DH is studying? I've been there and it's bloody hard work.

Can you split the dc up? Do stuff with them seperately?Doesn't 13yo want to be out with friends?

Twistergeese Sat 20-Aug-16 20:00:57

flowers It's better to leave for a breather than say or do something that you'd regret. We're all human, we all have limits.

Does your 3yo regularly hurt you? Does he do it to his dad too?

jimijack Sat 20-Aug-16 20:05:04

I do the lions share, cleaning, washing and all that stuff. I'm sick of finding empty crisp packets, dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, mess everywhere from them.
I do nothing but nag I feel.

I split them up mostly.

Yes, bad day not helped by summer holidays.

Btw, they weren't alone, dh knew I had gone.

jimijack Sat 20-Aug-16 20:07:35

Spot on twister, I won't tell you what thoughts I had in my head. I HAD to leave to minimize damage.

Sara107 Sat 20-Aug-16 20:08:08

You're not a shite parent, just overwhelmed. I have walked off and left dh to deal with dd. Sometimes it's better to just get away and calm down. Are you sure the 3 yr old behaviour is routine for the age? I know 3 can be challenging but I don't think your child should be hurting you and getting so physical. Do ask your health visitor for some help, some are more helpful than others though. Does dh back you up in being consistent about rules, strategies for dealing with behaviour etc? If 3 yr old is being parented differently by both of you it might be unsettling.

helenatroy Sat 20-Aug-16 20:08:37

You need a break. Can you call a friend and go out for a drink? Better still plan a nice weekend away with a good girlfriend or perhaps get a babysitter and go out for dinner with DH.

wobblywonderwoman Sat 20-Aug-16 20:09:17

Are they really fighting at 3 and 13 ? Could you get the 13 year old involved in more activities outside the home. I know dh is studying but you are probably getting more of the burden

TitaniasTits Sat 20-Aug-16 20:12:08

"Increase your parenting skills", FFS! I bet your parenting skills are just fine, you just got overwhelmed and who can blame you. It happens to us all at times.

wineor brew or cake for you.

YorkieDorkie Sat 20-Aug-16 20:13:34

Your parenting is a partnership so you really need to get some perspective on what you bring to the table! You will not be Whitby comparison! It's very easy to think but I'm sure hardly ever the case flowers.

Although this calls for cake, chocolate and some wine.

NPowerShitShower Sat 20-Aug-16 20:13:50

Mine are four and two. I frequently feel like this. It has been a relentless slog the last few years, often on very little sleep. DH works long hours. However, I went back to work this week. Only did four days, not five, but it was BLISS. Other people were moaning about being there in the sunshine. I loved it! Adult conversations, my efforts being appreciated and a sense of achievement. Don't beat yourself up. It is very hard for anyone who hasn't done it to appreciate the monotony (and I don't mean the odd week here or there, or just weekends, when DH is around). Years of it taking forever to get out of the door, not being able to go to the toilet alone, everything being a fucking issue with a tantrummy small person. Sometimes you just need to break free.

YorkieDorkie Sat 20-Aug-16 20:14:54

Argh. Clearly you are not Whitby. It's meant to say you are not shit in comparison!!!

MrsJayy Sat 20-Aug-16 20:15:58

You need to speak your 13yrold they should not be fighting with a toddler it sounds tough though you needed a breather you are doing everything you dont need to be picking up crisp packets and crap you just sound weary and done in

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