Hi all I've been hospitalised just a few days after giving birth to my first baby. Ive been hit with a severe case of mastitis which requires 5 days in total in hospital, possibly more depending on how they plan to remove abscesses which formed rapidly. I was ill at home for 2 of these proceeding hospitalisation after my midwife told me I must have a virus. How does a midwife miss mastitis! I asked her if it could be she said no that's lumps in breast were clogged ducts and to massage it out whilst breastfeeding.
I'm devastated I've missed out on over a week of my sons life's. previous days when my husband and I should be enjoying our family time. My husband has to go back to work as soon as I leave hospital this weekend.
I'm also angry as his parents came to stay with us just 4 days after he was born when I wasn't feeling well so we have had zero time on our own together. They have also stayed with him whilst I've been in hospital. My own mother who was widowed 3 years ago hasn't got to meet my son yet. I want to be there at home when she does. It's going to be so hard for her as she and I both miss my dad so much and he would have been an amazing granddad. It's just so unfair I just miss him so so much ans I wish my mum lived close by so I could help her more through it.
I feel my in laws are crowding us and it's not fair that they will be there watching her reactions when she should be meeting him without an audience. I pretended I was in the shower when they arrived last week just so my husband could introduce their grandchild to them on his own and have them time as a family to enjoy that before I came in. Don't get me wrong I love my in laws so much and they get on fantastically well with my mum and my brother but they only live 75 miles away by car and are retired early so come and go all the time to our place whilst my mum lives abroad so her trips are much less usually twice a year over here and I go back as often as I could before I was pregnant. Plus my in laws are quite wealthy pensioners and have bought lots of gifts whilst my mum can't really afford much (bless her she said I cant bring you lots of fancy clothes from next but I've been picking up things I'd know you like that you wouldn't think are from tesco!! I'm
Like mum I don't care if his clothes are from tesco!!!!! I've bought half his stuff from Asia and nct nearly new sales!) having spent their life savings and sold their home to fund specialist medical treatment for my dads illness.
I'm sure not a lot of people will read through this as its a bit long but at 4am in the morning on a noisy hospital ward with tears streaming down my face I just wanted a space to write all this down. I'm just sat here in hospital feeling so low, so lonely and so ill. I miss my son I can't even bear to think about him too much I'm sort of forgetting I now have a baby. I'm so worried this is going to trigger a long episode of baby blues for me for the resentment and upset I feel for all of the above.
I just want to get out of hospital and return to a home with just my husband and son in it and for my mum to arrive for a few days and for her to look after me so I can look after my son.
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Worried about post natal depression. Hospitalised days after my babys birth and crying constantly ?
15 replies
Annie105 · 18/08/2016 04:02
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