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5 yr old - reward charts, whingy behaviour and wanting new toys!

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ilovetosleep Mon 15-Aug-16 14:50:00

Hope this is not too long and someone can steer me in the right direction.

DS1 has generally been pretty easy on the behaviour front until this, he has a good sense of right and wrong, is not violent, plays well with his brother, and generally does what we ask of him BUT he whinges ALL THE TIME. Everything we ask of him is met with whinging. He is negative about most things. I can pick him up from school and tell him we are going to do his favourite activity and he will whine 'oh but i don't want to do that'... he asks for food constantly, he asks for ice cream literally every 5 mins. I don't give in - we have pretty relaxed snack rules and he eats great at meal times, but I have tried to keep ice creams to a minimum, maybe once or twice a week - but we live at the beach and so he has that association... Anyway like I said, he can ask every 5 mins for 48 hours and I won't give in but still he keeps on asking!

My other issue is that he has become obsessed with certain toys and wanting more and more and more - we have always been quite reserved through the year and then sp[lashed out at Christmas and birthdatys, but he has a friend that gets a new toy every week and its beginning to take his toll - he asks and asks and asks and its driving me mad. He is such a consumer! His GPs do buy him the odd toy which doesn't help as he is learning to love them only for their presents sad

Anyway my Q is this - I want to se up some kind of reward scheme to enable him to buy the odd new toy but feel like he's earned it. Is this a good idea? Is there any reason I shouldn't do this? I was thinking a start chart, 1£ for every 5 stars or something? Then he can get himself a couple of new transformers over the next few months? ( they are about a tenner each) My issue is I don't know how to work it with him. There's nothing we specifically want him to do, its more whingy behaviour that we want to stop. I can't see how it can work - if he starts whinging and I tell him he'll get a star if he stops, that just bribery and doesn't get him to stop the whining in the first place. I'd also like to work on politeness. He can be quite shy which comes across as rudeness with eg grown up friends/other parents. again don't want it to feel like bribery, I'd like him to remember to be polite and me reward him rather than me have to bribe him into it in the first place.

Am I over complicating this? what should I be doing? I feel like we've had it pretty easy until now and I don't know where to start with discipline!

Help!

Oh and I'll be starting another thread about play fighting - what's the deal with that? Not sure I'm handling that right either!

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