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How to tell ExH his kids are scared of him

(1 Post)
onadaylikethis Mon 15-Aug-16 08:12:26

Not sure I am posting in the right place here but...
I have 3 dc's 8,7 and 5 been split from their father for 3 years we split because he resented the kids and was verbally not nice to them and I was concerned about how it would effect them and their self esteem.
Kids have regular contact, every other weekend. For a long time they have not wanted to go and stay with him but I have encouraged and supported them to do so as I feel it is important they get to know their father, however part of me feels mean and wished that they didn't have too. I feel he sees them out of duty and to look a better person to others apposed to really wanting to see them.

Although I had been getting easier for the kids especially my eldest A boy there have been a couple of incidents recently that are really bothering me but the long and short of it is the my two younger kids, both girls are really scared of him and find him in approachable, I want to tell him this but don't want to activate and upset him so need to find a good way to say it. It has always been hard to get him to hear what I am saying to him, he just dismisses it and just says what he would like to be hearing. For example one time my son called me saying he wanted to come home, was on speaker phone, ExH butted in saying 'no you don't, I have fun things planned here' rather than acknowledging how DS was feeling and working with him.....I'm worried I will upset ExH and makes things worse for my girls but don't want to not stand up for them, what should I do?

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