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(9 Posts)
frankiebuns Wed 10-Aug-16 11:55:00

Hi sorry for the long story but here goes i have 2 children dd 2 and ds 6 my son has aspergers and my daughter has cmpa. I live near my mum and she insists on helping i was quitw grateful in the beginning as i had pnd with both kids and a awful child hood experience which my parents never knew about. I told her 2 years ago what happdned and was told to shut up and not mention it. So i brought it up a few months ago my dad refuses to speak to me and my mum refuses to speak about it and dont like me being in the house only my kids. Im still not alowed to go to the police as she thinks my kida will be taken into care. She just takes over but shes useless at safety shes do it after the horse has bolted. So she disregards my dd allergies and tottally wraps my son up and ignores his routines

Dixiechick17 Wed 10-Aug-16 22:05:09

Sorry I didn't want to read and run, do you have anyone close that you can confide in. I have no idea what happened to you, but it must be awful to have opened up to your parents and have them shun you because of it. If anything it would be worth speaking to a doctor, it's entirely confidential and they should be able to tell you where you can get help.

SpaceDinosaur Wed 10-Aug-16 22:09:08

Also, "not allowed to go to the police"

You are a grown woman. Your mother cannot stop you.

Without knowing details I can only speculate but it would be very very surprising of your children were taken in to care now for something which happened to you when you were a child. Your mother is trying to frighten you.

If you don't need her help then that's marvellous. Her disregard for your children's allergies and routines must be so so concerning for you as a mum. Just thank her for everything, take back the key and allow her less contact.

Missgraeme Wed 10-Aug-16 22:10:35

I seriously doubt your kids would be at risk of being taken away due to something that happened to u years ago. For your kids sake u need to report whatever it was and seek some help if u need it. If your parents won't /can't support u then maybe try and confide in a friend and keep your distance from your parents for the moment.

frankiebuns Thu 11-Aug-16 10:28:19

I was abused and as my kids see this person regularly i always make sure someone is in the room with them. My mum is sure my kids will be taken out of the situation. Im just tired of facing this situation everyday my mum says it cant rule my life my reply was unless it happened to you how can u know i wrote her s letter to say exactly what happened and she refuses to read it as it will upset her. My husband knows what happened but not who did it as he has a temper and doesnt want to jepordise his job as he is a prison officer and hed go mental

flanjabelle Thu 11-Aug-16 10:32:09

Is the abuser a family member op?

No matter what the situation, you have every right to go to the police if you wanted to.

However, in the mean time you need to stop seeing this person and keep your children well away from them no matter how difficult that is within your family.

Your family sound completely dysfunctional and I think you need to look elsewhere for support with this. Can you pop to the gp and ask for some help?

You poor thing op. Sorry you are going through this.

Dixiechick17 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:54:20

0808 800 5000 is the NSPCC adult helpline, they would be able to advise who to speak to with regards to ensuring your own children are protected from the abuser, and tell you who you can speak to. Your children will not be taken away from you for reporting someone that abused you. Sadly some parents just don't want to believe that they could have put their child in a situation where they were abused or don't want to believe that person could do something so awful. So they put a barrier up and pretend it hasn't happened. I am so sorry you went through this OP, having worked for the NSPCC myself there is support out there, the first step is speaking with someone away from the situation, whether that is a GP, a helpline or the police. I would be withdrawing contact with your parents in the meantime if it's a family member, but that is your choice.

frankiebuns Fri 12-Aug-16 12:06:38

Yes unfortunatly it is a family member and tbh im struggling my mum favours him over me usually he still lives at home and expects to be waited on hand and foot dnt think hes ever washed up or cooked. My dad makes his lunchbox for work makes his tea and breakfast. He hasnt mentioned anything that happened for 5 years and his collegues etc think hes fab. He visits prostitues and has more stds than i have hot dinners. My mum cant believe any of this happened under her nose. And im frustrated

frankiebuns Mon 15-Aug-16 09:12:19

Just a quick update, he is going on holiday for a bit and he expects mum to pack his suitcase hes not lifted a finger and hasnt paid for it mum did. And he had to visit all hus ladies of the night last night im sickened by him

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