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What's the strangest/funniest baby 'advice' you've been given?!

(45 Posts)
Icarriedawatermelon123 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:07:14

I started an earlier thread about dealing with unwelcome comments and advice and it got me thinking.. as humour is sometimes the best way to cope with things... whats the funniest/most weird baby advice you've ever been given?

Would be good to hear some and all have a good giggle about it!

Mine are (regarding my newborn DS)
'You should keep him awake during the day by not feeding him.. so he will sleep longer at night!' (This gem was given by my own father! I worry about how I must have been raised!)

'Put a hat on him he must be cold' - said indoors at MILs house with heating set at 25degrees in mid July.

'Don't drink cool drinks... as you're BF it will give your baby colic!'

Timetogrowup2016 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:14:35

Don't feed your baby ?
What the actual fuck !!! Haha.

Mine is
Sleeping bags are a suffocation risk

mrsmugoo Mon 08-Aug-16 15:20:31

A health visitor once advised me to give 8 month old DS "crumble and custard" as he needed the calories to help him sleep through.

Suffice to say I've not bothered with advice from a HV since.

Missgraeme Mon 08-Aug-16 15:28:27

Not advice but my dad thought baby's eyes didn't open for 6 weeks - 'u know like kittens!!' he said!!

Stevefromstevenage Mon 08-Aug-16 15:30:58

My MIL is adorable. I love her. However she has been obsessed with all of my 3 that their 'imaginary' blue lips were a sign of wind. Then she had my 2 SILs doing it.

You know when they understandably wanted their cuddles but the baby wants to go back to mummy and cries. Then they would start the blue lip thing and oh do you have wind awwwwwww, then the vigorous back rubbing would follow all the while the baby just wanted to go back to Mum. I would be internally groaning and thinking no blue lips is a sign of cyanosis and it means the baby is lacking oxygen and it is serious and my feckin babies don't have blue lips they just want me back but they all meant well and man they love those children.

Timetogrowup2016 Mon 08-Aug-16 15:51:33

Oh yes
The "aww you've got wind "
No she's fucking tired because you've been fucking handing around like a dolly all day long

CestLaVie93 Mon 08-Aug-16 17:05:17

We were living with my parents at the time who had dogs when the HV came round so we went upstairs to our bedroom where the crib was (so this must have been when he was a couple of weeks old). She bizarrely commented that the baby was at risk of getting his head stuck through the crib bars.

He had/has a 91st centile head. No way would his head go near them. It was a really bizarre comment but I still remember being worried afterwards until I told my NCT friends who reassured me it was rubbish.

Loads more (from my 'ahem' parenting expect cousin with a baby 5 months older than mine angry) but that one stuck out for me in terms of weirdness hmm

GipsyDanger Mon 08-Aug-16 17:11:39

My HV told me not to feed ebf baby for more than 10 minutes because it would give me mastitis

Latium123 Mon 08-Aug-16 17:14:54

My MIL, about my 5 week old DS - don't cuddle or BF him too much as he needs to get his independence. Ha ha ha ha ha, honestly, independence at 5 wks old!!! If he still needs constant cuddles and BFing at 18 then we might have a problem but he's 5 weeks old!! Blimey.

Flanderspigeonmurderer Mon 08-Aug-16 17:16:42

A relative told me to put butter on my sons head for cradle cap.
A nurse who did his 16 week injections suggested I put a rusk in his bottle to get him to sleep through. This was after I had told her I was breastfeeding.

scurryfunge Mon 08-Aug-16 17:18:02

My midwife told me I would have a high pain threshold because I had dark hair. Wtf?

ImYourMama Mon 08-Aug-16 17:23:40

I've been told to be sure to leave the baby outside in the pram when she's born to 'make her lungs really work' - she's due in December...

Highlove Mon 08-Aug-16 17:52:47

That I shoukd shave 9mo DD's head to make her hair grow quicker. By some random at the dr's surgery.

Florentina27 Tue 09-Aug-16 22:42:37

A young HV suggested I give also formula to ebf baby at 6 mo as the baby will get addicted to breast and that's why she stopped sleeping through the night. Never seen her again and no other HV ever suggested that. Another one though was very surprised im still breastfeeding when my did was about 4 mo. I found out later from a friend that my area was a low breastfeeding rate

Florentina27 Tue 09-Aug-16 22:46:13

In Romania old people advise not to take baby out in the dark or keep windows open at night if baby hasn't been christened so spirits don't come to visit

LuckySantangelo1 Tue 09-Aug-16 22:51:35

That my baby's arms would be cold in a baby gro and gro bag and blankets would be better confused

That I shouldn't eat curry when breastfeeding. Or grapes.

That an amber bracelet helps with teething.

AJ279 Tue 09-Aug-16 23:09:22

Leave cooled boiled water in bottles on the side so you can just add formula for night feeds. Made me angry that people didn't seem to know that it's the boiling water that sterilises the formula yet they were happy to dish it out as advice.

Just sleep on the sofa with your 8 week old baby so you can both sleep.

Sleep when they sleep- great in principle but doesn't happen.

AJ279 Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:32

That didn't sound lighthearted at all grin I do look back and laugh at it all now that I'm not a sleep deprived mess.

Diddlydokey Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:37

Get the baby into a routine by changing a nappy every 3 hours. It never did make any sense.

m0therofdragons Tue 09-Aug-16 23:24:36

Oh I ate curry when breast feeding and dd1 (who had colic) went to a whole nother level to the extent my df wanted to call an ambulance. Dm reassured him as he'd never experienced colic before. After that I stuck to bland stuff - no idea if it made a difference but I wasn't going to risk it.
Hv, "are you making sure you rest when the twins nap?" Er no, I don't think it's safe for a 3 yo to be left unattended just because her baby sisters are asleep.
Similarly, hv told me that for tandem feeding I should get comfy with baby 1 then get someone to pass me baby 2 - er, who? My 3yo? She demanded to know why dh wasn't helping out. Because he's had paternity leave and is back at work and his office is an hour away. Couldn't my mum help? Again no she's at work and 1.5 hours away. Any siblings? Yes db but he's in Canada. Maybe I could train the cat. Ffs she really didn't get that I was on my own. Seriously, do the rest of you have personal assistants that I missed out on?

catsofa Tue 09-Aug-16 23:26:26

3 month old DS grumpy in supermarket as was too hot in July heat. "Give him ice cubes". Eh? What's he going to do with an ice cube? Apart from choke on it...

Icarriedawatermelon123 Wed 10-Aug-16 00:39:12

Haha its amazing some of the stuff you hear isn't it!
But sometimes when you reach a hurdle with baby, you remember that crazy piece of advice you heard and out of sheer desperation/sleep deprivation you do wonder whether you should seriously consider it!
I forgot to mention a good one.. from the midwife who delivered DS no less.
As i was nursing DS for the first time I wondered whether I would need to wind him afterwards and it felt like he wasnt taking anything in. She told me that the necessity to wind is a old wives tale and that I would never have to wind DS...ever!!
I soon learnt that was rubbish.smile

biscuitkumquat Wed 10-Aug-16 00:45:10

ExMil told me off for "over-stimulating" DS at 3 months.

Apparently reading to him, and playing with his toys was entirely unnecessary & could do him long term damage, and I should completely ignore him so he learns to entertain himself.

IneedAdinosaurNickname Wed 10-Aug-16 00:46:02

My nan told me to make sure I pulled baby DS' foreskin back to clean it properly. Apparently that means it will be bigger when he's an adult "and I'd know duck. I've got 3 sons and they all grew well" never dared ask how she knew!

Timetogrowup2016 Wed 10-Aug-16 09:48:51

Aj
Yes you can use room temp water.

The powder is sterile until the lid is opened... In the USA their not even told to use hot water.
Sorry but that irks me so much because it is safe

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