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Aggressive 19 month old

(3 Posts)
Ladywithababy1 Thu 04-Aug-16 19:34:54

My DS is nearly 20 months and is very active and energetic. He is also very aggressive and acts out violently when he doesn't get his own way. If another child dares to pick up one of his toys/any 'interesting' object/nice looking bit of food, he will immediately pull hair, push, bite or scratch.

He doesn't seem to be affected by being told off or having time out or having it explained to him that it's ok to be angry or upset but not ok to hurt other people etc.

He's a lovely bright little boy but his lashing out means we find it hard to socialise with friends who have DC the same age or at soft play or anything like that. He's not very affectionate to us except when tired or under the weather, and will lash out at us in the same way - he will even scratch or pinch himself when angry!

He's on the cusp of talking properly and is also bursting with energy all the time, so wonder if it's related to development, but I can't help but worry that he's just an aggressive personality.

Am I being ridiculous, or is it possible for personality issues to be evident at such a young age? I just want him to calm down and enjoy himself a bit more instead of always being cross with other children or us!

MumUndone Thu 04-Aug-16 19:44:11

More than likely age-related frustration at not being able to communicate his thoughts properly. Persevere with telling him not to hit etc. and remove him from the situation for a couple of minutes if need be. He's probably a bit young for proper time out, and certainly won't understand reasoning - just say 'we don't hit, that's not nice' in a stern voice and don't reward the bad behaviour with extra attention.

Ladywithababy1 Thu 04-Aug-16 19:52:13

Thank you - yes we take him away from the situation and sit him down and talk to him at eye level and say that it's not nice to hit/bite etc and that it hurts people. It's hard not to pay extra attention but you're right, a firm explanation, removal from the situation and then no further action sounds about right. I suppose we just need to persevere and hope eventually the message gets through, but it is just getting me down as other kids of our acquaintance now flee from him because he is quite strong and therefore had the capacity to properly hurt them.

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