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How to get through the day?

(9 Posts)
Bellyrub1980 Wed 03-Aug-16 22:06:15

Hiya. I've had PND for 18 months. My 20 month old DD is utterly adorable and we couldn't be luckier. However, when it's just me and her she is moody, bossy and demanding. I try my best to give her all my attention, try to play fun games and keep her entertained but it's like I irritate her!! Constantly I get NO MUMMY, NAUGHTY MUMMY followed by a frustrated meltdown.

Why only with me?!

My PND was improving but I'm finding this recent behaviour really difficult. Somehow it's worse hearing how lovely and angelic she is with her grandparents. The days I'm at home with her drag terribly and i think I've played a game for an hour only to realise only 5 mins has past and still the whole day ahead. Frankly, I'm totally bored.

If I could take her out to groups etc I would, but we live quite remotely and she's really very travel sick. And she has her nap 12pm in the dot and ONLY in her cot which although great is quite restricting.

Any ideas/tips on entertaining a toddler whilst simultaneously stimulating MY brain somehow

(Ps PND is getting treated)

Bellyrub1980 Wed 03-Aug-16 22:08:53

Part of me would love listening to talking books but DD seems to get angry when I put the radio...

skankingpiglet Wed 03-Aug-16 22:39:46

I have a 2.2yo who is also a little angel for everyone except me and DH. I console myself with the belief they only act out with those they feel most comfortable with smile It's not that you've done anything wrong, actually quite the opposite, she trusts you with her feelings.

As for how to deal with it I try to get us out of the house for at least a few hours a day. It wears her out, and even if she's still difficult her screams are drowned out by other children or open spaces.
You say she must nap at 12 in her cot: what happens if she doesn't? Will she eventually give in and sleep in the car/buggy? As for the travel sickness, I'd maybe give those pressure point wrist bands a go (not sure if they're hippy crap, but worth a go). Failing that I'd be tempted to try a forward facing car seat if you haven't already. It's not ideal, but nether is a vomiting toddler and I know it helps me if I can stare out of the front windscreen when I'm feeling sicky.
Alternatively if you live remotely, can you go out for walks to avoid the car? Get her a puddle suit and let her go ker-azy in the muddy puddles. A well-exercised toddler is a docile toddler IME.

In terms of brain stimulation, I've found DD1 has made a huge leap in comprehension and spoken language in the last few months, and her attention span has improved which has made reading, watching films etc easier and more enjoyable. We can chat a bit together (no longer completely one sided!) and she's really eager to show off her new knowledge. Not much help to you right now I know, but hopefully you'll find things improve really soon too.
Do you like arty stuff? You could paint/colour together to allow you to do something that will challenge you whilst she's happily entertained.

Maybe also introduce a bit of daily TV time each day if you don't already too. DD1 will happily let me waste time on mn read if I'm sitting next to her whilst she's watching Peppa. She wants the company, so won't stay in front of the telly if I go off to do jobs, but will stay put if I sit having cuddles.

avamiah Wed 03-Aug-16 22:51:10

Join the Club.
My 6 year old daughter is excactly the same.
Everybody thinks she is a angel, but when we get home from whatever activity she has been at( judo, swimming etc , she is very rude to me.
She has told me to shut up at least 5 times tonight and I have no idea where this behaviour is coming from.
I just hope it passes and soon.

CheshireSplat Wed 03-Aug-16 22:54:35

Poor you.

Getting outside really helped me. So, nothing major, but little things like making a picnic and having it in the garden instead of normal lunch, lying on the grass, chucking DD around that kind of thing. That can kill an hour fairly easily.

Fettuccinecarbonara Thu 04-Aug-16 08:41:52

On the days I am not feeling well and time drags, I like to have a list of things we can do, and then assign them to times (anal!)
Eg
10am play dough and cutters
10:30 read books
11am shower/bath
11:30 lunch
12:00 nap
Wake up: tv
2:00 treasure hunt (list of things/pictures of things on piece of paper and walk around the neighbourhood trying to find them
3:00 shops to buy food for tea/ingredients for cake making
3:30 cook tea/cake together
4:00 painting/colouring
4:30 decorate cake/ice biscuits for pudding
5:00 dinner
5:30 tv

Helps to give YOU something to look forward to/plan and makes the day turn into manageable chunks.

I personally found my children got easier after the age of 2, when they can speak a lot better and tantrum less!

AliceInHinterland Thu 04-Aug-16 10:06:53

I agree that 2 was a bit of a turning point for us too (for now at least). They seem to have a lot of feelings they need to get out, and they do this with you, like when I get home from work and rant to my partner about how awful it was! I can understand really, they have so many desires to explore, eat bad food, get messy, that are constantly thwarted. I get in a bad mood if I don't get my own way so I can see why they do too.

Bellyrub1980 Thu 04-Aug-16 18:31:16

Thank you!

The analogy that it's like me coming home from work and blowing off steam to my husband makes so much sense.

Today I'm trying a different tack. Home from work and put telly on straightaway. Peppa pig. She's sat next to me cuddled in. It's lovely and I can look at my phone!! Lol

Tomorrow it's a whole day alone. DEFINITELY going to make a time table. It's the 'what next' and 'how can I pad out the next 4 hours?!' feeling that really gets me. So a schedule will be really good.

I love arts and crafts. At the moment she likes drawing so I will see if she will 'let' me do some of my own colouring while she does hers.

At the moment, she seems really happy! And cuddled right in. She isn't a cuddly child.

AliceInHinterland Thu 04-Aug-16 19:24:10

After all that we've had a right old afternoon! But it was general naughtiness, disobeying everything, rather than meltdown and definitely down to tiredness. 75% of naughtiness in our house is due to tiredness or hunger.
I also break the day down into 1/2 hour slots in my head. With food and a nap factored in, it seems more manageable, never more than about 1 1/2 hours in one go. We sit down for snacks and drag them out as long as possible. It is quite boring, but it's more interesting as he learns new words, and not as bad as those early baby days! At least they like actually doing things rather than just crawling around eating dirt.
Last resort is just to bundle him into the pram and go for a walk.
Love those unexpected cuddles from a non-cuddly child smile

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