Tips to survive the summer holidays with 5 & 2 yr old DSs (book suggestions particularly welcome)(5 Posts)
We've just finished the first week of the holidays and I'm at the end of my tether & trying to spend as much time out of the house as possible.
During term time it's not so bad, but DS1(5) is out at at school all day, and DS2(2) goes to nursery 2/3 days a week when I'm studying, so we only have to manage the mornings and evenings really. But this week has been hard, and I feel like Marge Simpson huddling in the corner with her hair falling out after Mary Poppins leaves her to deal with the kids.
DS1 just doesn't get that DS2 doesn't understand about turn-taking, sharing, and not snatching etc, and seems to revel in teasing and taunting him constantly. I feel like I'm constantly refereeing them and end up being shouty mum.
I have little tolerance for the constant squabbling, so try to intervene as soon as it gets out of hand, and then try to explain to DS1 why it's not nice to tease DS2/snatch his toys etc. Is that where I'm going wrong? Should I be letting them figure it out by themselves more? Trouble is, I worry one or other will get hurt. DS1 is quite strong-willed and going through a phase of hair snatching and face grabbing, but he's also very unsteady on his feet and falls over easily (both boys are hypermobile).
Does anybody have any tips on handling the situation, particularly if you have/had boys or a similar age gap? Or any book recommendations?
It's been a while since I read it, but "Siblings without Rivalry" is a good book and often recommended on here. One point it makes is that you can try giving them the chance to sort squabbles out - so if they are fighting over the same toy you would say "I see two boys who want to play but only one toy. I know you can come up with a solution to this problem" and then walk away. The book promises this works but mine are too little too try so good luck!!
We have a hypermobile DS, with special needs - it's exhausting but it DOES get better! I personally find being outside is easier than inside.
Storylineonline.net is fantastic - story time on line and the books come to life....
I've just posted myself about this activity download we're really enjoying here: internationalelfservice.co.uk/international-elf-service/free-ebook-things-to-do-over-the-school-holidays/
Thanks, UniversalTruth. Just had a look at that book, and it's by the same authors as 'How to talk..." which I started a while back and managed to incorporate a little. Have downloaded a copy of the siblings book onto my Kindle. I tried that tip about getting DS1 to think of a solution just before they reached crisis point a couple of times, and he actually sorted out himself!
I'll have a look at that link in a bit, TelephoneTree, as am always on the lookout for new activities to try. I agree, hypermobility can be exhausting, and I think that's part of the problem. DS1 tires easily and gets very emotional when he's tired. And being the anxious sort that I am, it adds to the worry that they're going to get hurt. Thanks for replying.
Feeling a bit calmer now that the weekend is here, and DP can help out more. Today hasn't been too bad, and the boys haven't wound each other up too much. I guess I just have to ride the storm and try to diffuse each squabble (hopefully by teaching DS1 how to sort it out) before it goes too far.
It's diffusing the squabbles that's the hardest bit I find. Being a Mum is so stressful!
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