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Too attached?!?

(11 Posts)
Box2 Wed 27-Jul-16 21:53:39

Call me crazy but I feel as though I'm too attached to my 17 wk old.
I can't leave her, I did once for 2 hours and I cried the whole time. She can't be left at all now , if I disappear out of sight she has a melt down, full on screaming. I can't bear the thought of going back to work. I genuinely feel like giving up on my career and that's ridiculous. Does anyone else feel like this ?!?

Bellyrub1980 Wed 27-Jul-16 21:58:32

I didn't physically leave my daughter at all until she was 6 months old. Even then it was only 30 mins at a time, usually when she was asleep. At 9 months I stopped breast feeding and started leaving her a few times a month for a few hours.

First full day away was when I went back to work after 12 months.

She was perfectly ready and happy to be without me.

She is now 20 months and a very confident little girl and happy when I'm not around.

So don't make any big decisions at 17 weeks. Your and her reactions to separation are completely normal. Give it time.

Box2 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:01:49

Thank you for replying.
I have a 7yr old and I was very easy going with her and this is totally different. I'm turning things down so I don't have to leave her. I take over when she's with DH and I can tell he gets annoyed but I can't help it.
I feel like a crazy lady

cornishglos Wed 27-Jul-16 22:04:32

Perfectly natural. Don't worry.

LuchiMangsho Wed 27-Jul-16 22:07:49

It's not unnatural, but if YOU think that it's taking over your life and you want things to change, then you shouldn't feel unable to do something about it. No one will judge you for handing over your child to her own loving parent and taking a break. You have parented before, so I am sure a part of you is telling you that these days are precious, but I suspect a different part of you also wants a break, but is unwilling to give yourself permission to have that break. It's really really okay to say for your sake and your other daughter's sake, to say actually I just want to go for a walk and clear my head. You are not letting anyone down.

Box2 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:07:56

I think I'm just a control freak. Also this is the last time , no more babies for me 😩 So feel as though I need to savour every moment

Bellyrub1980 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:08:12

I was exactly the same. I had post natal depression though and suffered with anxiety. My anxiety got considerably worse when I was away from her. So I didn't leave as a cooing mechanism. I didn't need to leave and wasn't being put under any pressure. The good news is that my PND got better and she was fine anyway.

As it happens, I really feel going back to work was a large part of my recovery from PND. Maybe I needed to be 'forced' to leave my DD in a way I didn't feel guilty. Because I had to go to work, we would lose our house if we didn't. Plus, I want my daughter to grow up seeing me working in a professional career so she expects the same of herself.

Bellyrub1980 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:10:16

Cooing = coping

Box2 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:10:52

Thanks luchi. It's not that I feel like I shouldn't leave her I just can't do it. I don't want to. I train (fitness) a few nights a week so I get my alone time but not until she's in bed and when I get home the house is quiet as everyone else is in bed too , feels a bit lonely

Box2 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:14:40

bellyrub1980 I had PND with my first, was a shock to the system the whole baby thing. Maybe this time I'm doing too much out of guilt from the first time round?!? I've worked so hard for the past 12 years to get to management level and now I just feel like there is more to life than that, but I also believe in going to work to show my girls that's what's right. Argh! Motherhood is one giant battle

Bellyrub1980 Wed 27-Jul-16 22:27:18

I never left her but must admit I didn't enjoy her either. So I would feel the same as you I'm sure. Take full advantage of spending as much time with your baby as possible. If seperation is going to be difficult, it won't matter if you start that process now or in 6 months time.

Can you return to work part time?

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