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Why is my dad starting to get so rude?!

(4 Posts)
Tryagain92 Wed 27-Jul-16 11:29:29

If this is on the wrong forum please move it to an appropriate one smile I don't mind! Thanks x

My dad has pretty much brought me up since I was 12 , but I was mainly independent myself - i cooked for myself, did my own washing, made my way to other places etc. I don't live there anymore now as I moved out at 18 due to his tantrums couldn't put up with it anymore! I speak to my dad every day and I see him as well now and again and he isn't a bad person at all but his attitude stinks.

Today, i went to see him and he asked me to get him some washing powder I said I'm not going town today and told him to go town instead its only down the road but then he said ok lets go to Asda and we can go in your car I said ok but I need to get petrol as its flashing orange and he goes you'll be fine its just down the road I said dad i need petrol and why don't we just go in your car? then he said oh whatever f**king forget it then, just forget it like a stroppy bloody teenager and i said if you keep talking to me like that this is the last time I'm coming over to see you!!

After that he was really nice and just chatty and friendly :/ ages ago he shouted at me when I was trying to help him set up his computer so I was about to walk out and say I'm going home but he was like DON'T GO, PLEASE STAY. Why should I? If he is going to talk to me like that! He is independent by the way he is retired but he is physically fit and able! He goes out and sees his friend and rides his motorcycle.

I feel bad but I didn't shout or have ago at him I just sternly told him. I don't want him talking to me like that! I've never spoke to him like that in my whole life. Am i In the wrong? I feel a bit low about it sad sad i used to do everything for him cos he was working and bringing in the money but I never lived off him and I moved out at 18 as soon as I got a job

MissMargie Wed 27-Jul-16 11:36:41

Has he developed anxiety or agoraphobia or something. Is he avoiding someone eg neighbor so by going with you they won't approach him?

Whatever his problems he probably won't share them with you as men seem to keep things to themselves, but you could ask.

His tantrum was out of order so you are def not in the wrong.

Justaboutafloat Wed 27-Jul-16 13:03:25

Have you noticed any other changes? Is this behaviour different to normal?

Just wondering as the first signs of dementia in my MIL were strange behaviour and conversations. She was very status conscious and worried about what people thought of her, but some of her behaviour became almost paranoid.

The tantrums and rudeness often seem to come about if the person with dementia feels scared, unable to cope or frustrated. If your dad was cross because he couldn't deal with the computer it could have triggered this type of reaction. If he has had a problem at the shops it could be why he wanted you to take him there.

I'm probably wide of the mark, but it can take several years before dementia becomes really evident. It is worth bearing in mind though.

lexib Sat 06-Aug-16 00:50:34

My first thought was something medical too, as the other posters. Can you make an objective list of any oddities so you can make a full picture of his behaviour?

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