Saying Hello!(3 Posts)
Hello, wondering if anyone can offer some advice, or reassurance, or guidance really. DD is nearly 4. She is an only child and is generally a delight (yes I am very biased 😊). However for the past 6 months she has been going through a phase where she will just refuse to say hello to people. The only exceptions to this are me and her dad, and both set of grandparents. We have a family hobby where there are many lovely people who have known her since she was born (we go several times a week) and now she won't even say hello or good bye to them. It is especially bad if we see people out of context. So say we see her pre school teacher in tesco, the teacher is all 'ooh hello DD are you helping mummy, what have you got in your trolley etc etc' and DD just pulls a grumpy face and looks away. It's not even shyness, but outright rudeness. I Obviously try to correct her at the time and have to apologise to whoever it is. If it's socially possible I persevere and make her say hello, but honestly I can't expect someone doing their shopping to hang around for 5 minutes whiles I discipline a stubborn child. We have had little chats when alone and I have asked her if she feels shy or worried etc but she just says she doesn't want to speak to them.
The thing is in between refusing to say hello and good bye she generally happily interacts and plays.
Any ideas. It's been going on for 6 months now and getting worse if any thing. Just to mention as well, she is not at all shy. She is a confident outgoing chatty little girl (my mum says precocious 😉).
Don't worry about it, it becomes a battle of wills. My DS went through the same thing at 5, it was embarrassing initially to need to remind him to respond to friendly greetings. And then began the pretence that it matters not. So six months on - he hollers Hello to the neighbours and his friends. It's a phase...and it is also now I think about it his way of disagreeing and protesting.
I'd back off and not bother forcing her to say it or discipline her. Just say something cheerily to the person like 'oh dear, DD is having a grumpy day' and change the subject. It's probably less embarrassing doing this than making a big deal of it in front of the person. It'll pass, especially if she's not naturally shy.
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