What do I do??

(4 Posts)
fluffymummykins Mon 25-Jul-16 12:47:25

I am in a dilemma.

I have no childcare next week but I am at work (No holiday time left to take).

My Mum has offered as she lives 20 miles away, but we gave "first refusal" to my MIL because she lives 100 miles away and rarely sees our children. She accepted.

She has recently turned around and said that she will be bringing my nephew with her. The reason? Because my SIL is looking after my MIL's dog while she's here and apparently can't cope with looking after her own son and a dog. As a result I have said to my hubby that I don't want my MIL to do it anymore. She's old and to look after 4 children (inc my nephew) will be hard work, and I worry for their safety, especially for my daughter who is rather challenging (terrible twos!). Also, my nephew and eldest will gang up and push my middle child out, like they did at Christmas when they came to stay.

My husband is now about to lie to my MIL and say I have got time off, which I don't want him to do (lie). What do I do? Who should I let look after them? And no, she can't bring the dog instead of my nephew as my kids are terrified of dogs.

Shelduck Mon 25-Jul-16 14:22:43

Hmm, yes, families do have a way of making things feel unnecessarily complicated don't they?! Some options:
1. Let your DH lie. (I don't like lying myself, but that's just me.) At least no-one's feelings will be hurt.
2. Be honest with MIL and say you think it will be too much for everyone, including her, and ask your mum to look after your DCs instead.
3. Shrug your shoulders and go with the plan of your MIL + nephew - it might not be the best week of your middle child's life, but presumably they'll be OK - it might wear your MIL out, but she's presumably just happy for the chance to spend time with your DCs. Not ideal, but also not too bad?

How do your mum and MIL get on? What about if MIL looked after DCs, but your mum stepped in, and maybe took a couple of them out at times during the week?

Good luck!

fluffymummykins Mon 25-Jul-16 14:37:35

I think part of it is because I am annoyed with my SIL and MIL because my SIL is too lazy to look after her own son and my MIL has my nephew 3 nights a week. My MIL puts the golden girl SIL and golden grandchild ahead of everyone else. My MIL moans that she misses my children but she's planning on moving to Devon (from London) so that my SIL can do her Masters (she is 31). Its like she chooses them over my kids and that's what I hate. My Mum knows this and dislikes my SIL but is fine with my MIL, despite them being total opposites (think of the Burns and Fockers in Meet The Parents!)
Thanks Shelduck x

DollyBarton Mon 25-Jul-16 15:02:42

Actually I think it's clear that you are simply annoyed at the situation with your SIL and punishing your MiL for giving in and helping her again. Cutting off nose to spite face, no?

Your MIL thinks she can handle the 4 and is doing you a favour so I would gracefully accept her offer, no matter how the SIL's laziness pisses you off.

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