Useless other half

[Jayb083]

I am really struggling with my other half. Our daughter is 10 months old and I have just returned to work, however I feel like a lone parent. He won't put her to bed as he says she's gets upset and he can't cope. He doesn't get up in the night with her for the same reason and he shouts and swears at her in the morning if she's up before 6. I work 10 hour days, 4 days a week. I get up once a night with her, usually around 4am, then we get up around 7. I get us both dressed, she has breakfast and we're on a train by 8 where I drop her to her grandmothers before I go to work. I pick her up when I finish and we catch train home. Then we do bath and bed and finally sit down around 7pm. During this time dh would be at work from 7-4 and then would typically cook dinner. Is this normal? On the few occasions (4 so far) he has her all day I worry all day because he will just nap whilst she is roaming the house, he loses his temper with her too quickly. I don't know what to do, I need to work for financial reasons

[KatyN]

Sorry you've not had any response yet, this isn't how my husband is. I'm still on mat leave with our second but he gets up at 6 every morning with our two. He does one bedtime and I do the other. I cook during the day.
When I return to work he will work part time too. On the one day we both work, one will cook while the other does bedtimes. We will alternate who does the night shift if there is any waking.

It's hard because of your daughter 'prefer a' you then it will be easier for you to put her to bed etc but th only way through is for her dad to start doing more. Then she will like being put to bed by him too. If you are not happy with the situation you need to talk to I'm about it. Maybe go out so he does bedtime without you hovering or giving him the safety net of calling you??

[Coconut0il]

I really feel for you OP. I do all the bedtimes/night feeds as DS2 does settle better for me but DP is very good in other ways so I don't mind. I would feel very worried about leaving my DS2 if my DP was as you describe. Shouting and swearing at a 10 month old does not sound good. Can her grandmother have her more often? I know that means less work for your DP but would put your mind at rest. I don't really have any advice but I would say that the situation you describe is not normal.