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Does anyone else ever feel guilty for not spending time with their children?

(13 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Sun 17-Jul-16 12:54:32

I'm having a lovely relaxing Sunday, currently sat on my bed drinking a cup of tea whilst DS is with DH downstairs.

DS woke for the day at 6.10 (I had already been up with him twice in the night) and I took him in the spare room to BF him and then at 7am I handed him over to DH so I could go back to the spare room to catch up on some sleep. We've had a lot of issues with DS's sleep lately and between that and working long shifts I'm tired all day every day.

Anyway, I went back to bed at 7am and didn't wake up until 10.40am!

I went downstairs to spend some time with DH/DS but DH can tell I'm still tired and generally under the weather so he has just ordered me back upstairs (at 12.30pm) and here I am. He's told me to stay upstairs and just rest/sleep for as long as I need too.

I obviously really appreciate it but I'm also feeling guilty for not being with DS, almost like I'm being a bad parent. I worked yesterday and I'm working tomorrow so today is my only day to spend some quality time with him yet I've holed myself up in the bedroom after only having spent two hours with him this morning.

I just feel like if DS is home then I should be with him.

I can hear DS and DH playing together downstairs and they are clearly having lots of fun, all I can hear is laughter.

Part of me thinks DH loves having the one-to-one time with DS as he works Mon-Fri so the weekend is the only time he gets to have quality with him.

But anyway, I still feel guilty, as though DS should always come first and my need for rest/sleep shouldn't be the priority.

Does anyone else feel like this at times?

Cinnamon2013 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:01:47

I want your DH! Quite attached to mine but the idea of a rest day like this is so so appealing.

You're enabling them to form a close bond on their own - that's important. And you're getting the rest it sounds like you badly need. It'll all come around, you'll be the one with him all day another day, and you'll have the energy to enjoy it.

Cinnamon2013 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:02:18

In short: do not feel guilty. Really.

Lilaclily Sun 17-Jul-16 13:12:37

Aw it all sounds lovely
I'd aim to rest now
Have a shower in a couple of hours and then make everyone a lovely tea ?

HeyMicky Sun 17-Jul-16 13:20:46

Quality over quantity. Rest now if you need it then have a lovely evening, nice dinner, calm bath and bedtime snuggles. Plus it sounds like your DS and DH are having a lovely time together. No need to feel guilty - you're the best parent you can be when you are happy and well, too

Writerwannabe83 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:21:20

lilac - my DH does all the cooking so he'll be the one making the lovely tea grin

I work full time over 3 days which means I get to spend 4 days a week with DS so I know he gets a lot of quality time with me but it's hard not to feel guilty when I can hear him downstairs yet I would prefer to be on my own upstairs.

On the days I work I only see him for a maximum of 30 minutes in the morning so I feel that when I am home with him I should be with him all the time to make up for that.

Sometimes, because of my shifts I don't see DS for 48 hours and it's really hard. I think in general I feel guilty about how my job impacts on our time together and that's why I feel like all my free time should be dedicated to him.

EveryoneElsesMumSaidYes Sun 17-Jul-16 13:26:46

It sounds like you have a lovely family. After reading about what some women put up with your DH is a real gem, lucky you. Enjoy your tea and snooze (I love a lazy Sunday) you'll feel so much better for it brew

chalky3 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:26:49

Don't feel guilty, you obviously need to rest so do so. You will be a happier mummy for it and can play when you wake up. I'm sure your DH and DS are having fun together so don't worry.
P.S. Your DH sounds fab, take his advice!

c737 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:54:19

Does your dh have a brother?!

Writerwannabe83 Sun 17-Jul-16 13:58:23

Yes he does, but he's already married with 3 children grin

I am very lucky to have DH - he's even just bought me some lunch up.

If I'm not working on either a Saturday or Sunday he always gets up with DS so I can have a lie-in. He usually brings me a cup of tea and am omelette up too...

Maybe I don't feel guilty about being away from DS but maybe I feel guilty for thinking DH may think I'm taking advantage of him.

I can hear them downstairs now playing with DD's new garage and car set and having races whilst singing the Paw Patrol theme tune grin

c737 Sun 17-Jul-16 14:03:12

Enjoy the lounging and get some rest. Your Ds sounds happy as Larry, I really wouldn't be worrying if I was you. He clearly has two parents who adore him and you'll be much more able to enjoy the time you have with him if you're rested and feeling well. Sorry about the nights being like they are, that sounds harsh and I would be doing exactly the same as you if I had been up twice in the night then up again at 6.

Sammysquiz Sun 17-Jul-16 21:31:47

You need to read this!

Writerwannabe83 Sun 17-Jul-16 21:35:55

That's hilarious grin grin

I went back downstairs at about 2ish where I spent an hour with DS before I sent him off for his nap grin

Our evening together was really nice though - he's absolutely the best thing in the world!!

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