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My Dad isn't a great parent and I think I'm turning into him.

(4 Posts)
Heatherbell1978 Sat 16-Jul-16 21:28:46

I had a decent childhood, lived in a good area, lots of hobbies, decent school, went to uni and have done quite well for myself. I'm one of four. My parents divorced when I was 20. My mum did everything at home, a very traditional mum; my dad had a stressful job and did very little in the house. He struggled to connect with us emotionally and preferred his own space so most nights he sat in his own living room (big house) watching TV with no interruptions. We had everything we needed aside from love I guess. I see him occasionally but definitely not close and likewise with my brothers. I'm not a 'family' person and very envious of people who have very close families they see often.

I have a 23 month old and I fear I'm more similar to my dad than I realised. I just like my own space, I love nap time and evenings so I can sit and read or surf online and I struggle to think of ways to entertain DS. I'm not creative or especially outdoor loving so I have to really try at times to interact. DH is much better with him. I love him dearly of course but I just don't think I'm a good mum. I'm pregnant with #2 as well which I'm happy about and it was planned as we really want DS1 to have a sibling but it's making me think about my crappy parenting skills more than ever.

Does anyone else have to really try?

Touchacat Sun 17-Jul-16 19:21:57

You're worrying too much about this. Nap times and evenings are definitely my favourite part of the day - a bit of peace and quiet and time to do what I want to do. Who wouldn't love them when you have a toddler to handle the rest of the time?! It doesn't make you emotionally unavailable and definitely not a bad parent. And the times when I would much rather faff on my phone/ watch TV than play? I think that just means I'm a normal but exhausted adult, not a bad parent. Honestly, you're doing fine! Congratulations on new baby too!

bugsey123 Sun 17-Jul-16 20:40:29

The fact that your worrying shows your a good loving mum xx

Believeitornot Sun 17-Jul-16 21:38:29

I think about this too because my mum wasn't great. Only met my dad once so don't count him.
So I try and make a real effort to not do what she did but I find myself slipping into bad patterns.

It is really hard but I hope I'm doing a better job. I expect I'll get some things wrong though.

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