I need some objective opinion please
I have a 6 year old. My ex had an affair and we split when she was 2. We live in Hampshire. After the divorce he moved in with this woman - 60 miles away in central London.
I have never stopped him seeing her, however it is difficult as he moved away. He picks up the cost and the pick-up drop off as it's significant time/money (that took some arguing!).
Gradually he has been seeing her less and less, and goes whole months without seeing her. I've started keeping a record. In 2015 he say her for 51 overnight stays and went for the whole of May and the whole of October without seeing her (he went abroad with his girlfriend). This year again he has only seen her 22 overnight stays and we are halfway through the year.
It's always dressed up as 'work', but funny his work always takes him to australia and his girlfriend is australian..... (not to mention holiday pics on Facebook). He thinks I'm stupid.
To be honest I don't care about him seeing her less and less. He is a bad influence, low morality, and always lets her down (I spend a lot of time protecting her and not telling her he is collecting her at a certain time as he is always late). He keeps himself away from her, it's nothing to do with me putting any blocks in the way.
Anyway to get to the point... what he wants now is to have her on her birthdays and every christmas. He has said that it is unfair on her to travel on these occasions (which I agree) and because I have her all year it's only fair that he has her on these occasions.
So he can drop in and out of her life for the rest of the year, ignore any agreements we have tried to make and still have her for all the good bits. I consequently don't get a look-in because he will either be in London or Cardiff where his family live.
We have tried mediation, and drawing informal access arrangements - all of which he disregards. We agreed last July that a 'weekend' would be Friday to Sunday. He has only picked her up on a Friday once. And Saturday morning it's usually 11am by the time he gets here.
It's his way or the highway. If I object, I get showered with guilt about my daughter not seeing her dad, me damaging her, and me being selfish.
Some outside perspective please :)
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I need some perspective...help
6 replies
user1468574060 · 15/07/2016 10:47
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