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Struggling to bond now baby is well.

(4 Posts)
rlmiles Thu 14-Jul-16 00:44:27

At about three months of age my son developed several health issues and was diagnosed with a tumour. He was put on a lot of medications and after surgery is now fit and healthy, he has just turned one.

I am obviously incredibly thankful that he is okay, and wake up every day in disbelief that we got through it all. Despite this I am struggling to bond with him now, he is funny, smiley and a little terror but he is simply not the child I have known for the last 12 months.

I know he has changed as he is no longer on medication or in pain, which is fantastic, but he is not the child I loved. He is wild, loud and everything a one year old should be but I miss the sweet, gentle boy I knew.

I know it sounds crazy, and I feel terrible, but I miss my gentle boy and resent this wild doppleganger. He is a lovely child but I can't stop pining for the child I raised for the last year.

Candlefairy101 Thu 14-Jul-16 11:21:56

Hi, I think if you could ask for this to be sent to parenting or postnatal you will get some fabulous advice

SHAP doesn't usually have slot of traffic

KatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 14-Jul-16 17:20:36

Hi OP - we will move this over to Parenting for you, where we hope you'll get a great response. flowers

KatyN Thu 14-Jul-16 22:10:19

Oh bless you what a rough ride. My son was poorly at birth and it took 2 years for him to catch up with his peers in ohysicl development. Meant I had a cuddly baby for a lot longer than my friends. Sometimes when I see him running around I remember how special he is and how I wasn't sure he would ever get there. So I can kinda appreciate what you feel.
The other thing to remember is that children grow up and change loads al the time. So it's easy to look back on earlier times and wish we were there again. My son is really into superheroes and fighting. A coupe of years ago he would Stand with me in he kitchen for hours baking.
Sorry I'm probably not very helpful but I think it's normal to look back and want simpler times but alas for now you have a crazy wild one! My husband says he likes it when oir children are poorly as you just get to cuddle them and watch tv all day. I prefer the wild days

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