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AIBU to feel annoyed at aunt in law?

(17 Posts)
Italktomycat Mon 11-Jul-16 14:06:09

So just got a mail from my boyfriends aunt (addressed to me but he was copied in)

The email started off pleasantly enough congratulating our son on his school report etc.

But the second paragraph started with 'but I must express my concern that you have uploaded a picture of him holding his sports day certificate that has his name and school on' it then goes on about safeguarding children and the dangers of the Internet. FYI I work in digital and have done for years so am perfectly aware of the risks and consequences of sharing data.

AIBU to find this email a little overbearing? She's even copied in links to Internet safety sites and safeguarding children sites (she's a retired teacher) she then goes on to say that we teach our children to never give information about them selves so it is unfair for me to do that on behalf of my son.

Obviously my FB privacy settings are locked down tighter than a nuns arsehole. But my thought is that I have shared a photo of him
On his first day at school (so his school
Is known to my FB friends) and all over them already know his name so am I being lax with security or is she butting her nose in?

Ps when son was born she send us a book called 'Toxic technology' or something like that about the dangers of technology and children.

Also pissed me off that she sent it to me and not my boyfriend who she is actually related to!

Cosmo111 Mon 11-Jul-16 14:08:39

She sounds OTT and weird I would just ignore her.

Buggers Mon 11-Jul-16 14:14:03

I'll probably be flamed for this but I think Yabu, that is a silly thing to do. There's many many children being taken everyday especially from schools, you don't need to make it any easier for them. She clearly cares very much for your son and doesn't want harm to come to him. She probably sent it to you as you put it online. You sound quite aggressive towards her tbh.

Iamthegreatest1 Mon 11-Jul-16 14:17:20

She is 100% correct. My question to you is If you work in digItal technology and all clued up etc why are you posting a pic of your ds with his name and school? are you aware of Safeguarding Children? it is not safe and not something i would do regardless of your security setting on FB, but each to their own. The aunt however, is a relation to your ds so there's nothing wrong with her bringing it to your attention.

Italktomycat Mon 11-Jul-16 14:20:02

I'm not aggressive towards her, she just has a way of making everyone feel like they are not parenting 'right'

She's told us we shouldn't let him watch tv before, that all games/tech should be with held until teen years, and that we should pretty much leave him alone to his own devices through the day (he's only 4 and this was about a year ago)

I just find her a bit intrusive. She doesn't seem to see that there are more than one ways to parent.

I have asked my boyfriend to reply to her as it is his aunt.

JakeBallardswife Mon 11-Jul-16 14:21:31

Ignore it. Some people have an opinion on everything!

Italktomycat Mon 11-Jul-16 14:25:52

I'm posting it because I am a) proud b) a person with distant family who enjoy the updates and c) I see it a a minor risk.

If I am in a supermarket with my son in his school uniform should I not call him by his real name in case a paedophile may hear?

The information in the above encounter is the same that is available on the photo. In fact the photo on FB poses less of a risk as it is only privately available to a select few.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Mon 11-Jul-16 14:28:41

I would do the email equivalent of a smile and nod 'I'll certainly have a think about what you said' and then restrict her view on any further pictures I put up, she will think you've listened, you won't get any more emails. Everyone's happy.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 11-Jul-16 14:28:43

She's bonkers.

You've posted on a private Facebook page where only your friends can see the photo so that's fine.

Some of the responses on this thread are literally hysterical!

ellie264 Mon 11-Jul-16 14:30:23

If you're FB is locked down I don't see an issue. I think she probably means well, but a long email detailing internet security is quite condescending IMO. I would reply with something light hearted - 'don't worry, our FB is locked down tighter than a nuns arsehole!'.

Italktomycat Mon 11-Jul-16 14:35:00

That was my initial reaction, hysterical

But then I wanted to gauge others reactions to see if I was out of line.

I think my job working in Internet security has made me more clued up and I don't think keeping your kids safe online is anything to do with the amount of information you restrict. It's to do with integrity and security of the individual
site, and which particular information you choose to share.

I think she's just particularly hating of any technology, not just Internet. X

Obliviated Mon 11-Jul-16 14:40:23

She's right, but didn't have the right to preach to you about it.

I always blur anything identifying, school logo etc.

Italktomycat Tue 12-Jul-16 11:33:54

I've sent her a mail. Not exactly Arsey but not conciliatory either.

Basically said I've weighed up the risks and decided it's minimal. So we won't be taking any action to remove the photo. But said in a nice way,

Hope she doesn't react!

SendARavenToRiverrun Tue 12-Jul-16 13:14:33

She's crackers. The email you've sent sounds perfect. In future I'd restrict her to what she can and can't see, no more arsey emails then!

daisydalrymple Tue 12-Jul-16 13:26:00

Maybe take her off your contacts, and if she questions it just politely say you didn't want to risk upsetting / offending her with any further private posts.

Jghl1234 Wed 13-Jul-16 22:43:16

I don't have Facebook and I wouldn't post pictures of my children if I did. But each to their own if you feel like your privacy settings are on top board then do what you like your child your life as long as you be careful you can't stop living your life because of other people. I get what you mean about her sending you it though even if someone's right it's infuriating when someone tells you what to do with your child! Haha xxxx

zoemaguire Wed 13-Jul-16 22:55:56

'There's many many children being taken everyday especially from schools, you don't need to make it any easier for them.'

Eh? Have I got this right, you think many many children are being abducted every day from schools?!! That's so mad I feel I must have misunderstood. You do know that child abduction by strangers is vanishingly rare? National news kind of rare! As for abduction of a child by a stranger because somebody posted their photo and school on a locked-down fb page - if that's ever happened I'll eat my hat. Op your aunt in law is bonkers, as are some of the responses on this thread.

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