Not Coping Well

[Harry101]

This is my first post and apologies for it being such a negative one.

Basically I'm not a patient person but it's something I've worked really hard on since becoming a mother. I still had my moments but overall I felt like I had really got my temper under control. That was until the last couple of months. I'm now pregnant with number 3 and I feel like I've turned into a monster. I'm so floored with tiredness like I've never felt in my life before and my two children (especially my 5 year old) are bearing the brunt of it. My two year old's speech isn't great and as a result he has many frustrated tantrums. Going out in public with him tends to be a nightmare. I'm not handling it well.

The cycle tends to be I get all enthusiastic about taking them somewhere nice, we go, my 5 year old is having a great time, my 2 year old throws multiple tantrums, I eventually lose it and we all have to leave. I snap at my 5 year old when he asks me an innocent question or if he complains about having to leave.

It would be easier to stay at home, right? But that results in fights over toys and my 5 year old gets bored easily. I'm not being very nice to my partner either. I just don't think I'm going to cope with 3 judging by the way I am now. Life had got to a fairly easy stage and now I feel like I've made it a whole lot harder, not just for me but also the rest of my family, by choosing to have a third.

Sorry for the long post but I feel so alone. I have nobody I can say these things to in person.

[Dixiechick17]

I haven't got experience I'm afraid as just have the one DD, but didn't want to read and run. Hopefully someone with more experience will be along soon.

Hopefully it's just those pregnancy hormones making it all seem that bit too much, sending hugs

[CarrotPuff]

As you know yourself having a newborn is much easier than being pg with a toddler. Please be kind to yourself. Hormones are a lot to blame too.

My DS is always worse if he's hungry or tired - can you go somewhere close, and take lots of snacks with you? Do you have any family close who can take them for half a day do that they are stimulated in different environment and you get some rest?

It will get easier, hang in there

[RNBrie]

I've been where you are. I've just had dc3 and the entire pregnancy was a nightmare, I felt awful and was horrible to everyone.

My tips would be to get as much sleep as possible. Eat dinner with the children sometimes and go to bed as soon as they do (this does require an understanding partner who doesn't mind doing the lion share of household jobs)

Talk about how you're feeling to your partner and whoever else you can confide in.

Relax your parenting standards. Watch TV when you need to, feed them convenience food and bribe them with snacks.

The key is to get through it.

Dd3 is 8 days old now and I'm nearly back to myself!!

[2nds]

Will your 5 year old be in school in September? If so how many hours will he be doing?
Are you eligible for 2 year old nursery funding? If you haven't checked it's worth looking into.

[2nds]

What about just going out for a picnic if the weather is good? Bring a few balls and a blanket. You could get a fold up chair, if you don't have one and don't have much money you could see if there are any Facebook freebie sites for your area and ask on there.

[2nds]

One more thing if youve got a garden you could just have a picnic in the garden.

[Harry101]

Thanks for all the kind replies. I had a good cry last night and decided to start afresh today. RNBrie glad to hear that you got through it intact! Yes I need to relax and allow more screen time etc. than usual. A Teddy bears picnic in the garden would go down well! I'm also going to schedule some 1:1 time with my 5 year old over the weekend.

Thanks again :)