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Newborn and relationships problems

(16 Posts)
Sammyalowers Thu 07-Jul-16 01:27:29

I meet my boyfriend a year ago and have just had his son. Sometimes he pisses me off because when I came from hospital he was saying yuk look at ur belly no one is not going to want u now and all he cares about his his son. Well all of that build up I argued with him over stuff he told me about and threw it back in his face. He had been struggling with rent and he hasn't spend a penny on my child I paid for everything. He's got 3 other kids and pays child support on them and has no money after the outgoings of his pay. I gave him PlayStations for his children brought him trainers plus many more. I argued with him and asked for them all back because over the weekend he was very offish with me and was constantly online on what's app and never use to reply to my messages. Weekend I said a lot of hurtful stuff which I never said before and said I wanted all the stuff I brought for him back. He said at the weekend I pissed him off so much he was texting a woman and he was going to fuck her but he didn't. What do u think I should do? My baby is 2 months old. He always talks about women and makes me feel we're going to split up. I do love him but he makes me feel I'm in the wrong for having a go

amysmummy12345 Thu 07-Jul-16 01:48:47

Get rid flowers

Sammyalowers Thu 07-Jul-16 01:54:03

Your views?

Vertigo58 Thu 07-Jul-16 02:08:30

I'm sorry Sammy but he sounds absolutely vile. To put you down after just giving birth, then after further bad treatment it sounds as if you've finally blown and his only response is to use it as an excuse to justify getting sex off someone else. I hope you have some family support as you should leave him in my opinion, there are so many nice men out there who will treat you 100x better, you don't deserve this treatment flowers

Sammyalowers Thu 07-Jul-16 02:11:51

Yes I know you are right. I love my son and I really wanted a family with this guy. I didn't want different fathers for my children. I guess that's life I suppose.

Vertigo58 Thu 07-Jul-16 02:12:12

P.s. I know he says he hadn't had sex with anyone else but no one should have the treat of it over their head that there partner may at a moments notice choose to go 'fuck' someone else after a row it's just not what someone who loves you does flowers

Vertigo58 Thu 07-Jul-16 02:17:08

Don't worry about any stigma of having children by more than one father, you've gone into a relationship with the best intentions but this man is not deserving of you. Concentrate on yourself and your son and in time you will find someone who will treat you so much better flowers

Sammyalowers Thu 07-Jul-16 02:17:44

Thanks flowers

LilacInn Thu 07-Jul-16 02:47:04

Er, you conceived a child three months after hooking up with a vile, immature loser tosser who already had three basically disposable children - he is not financially viable, makes fun of your body, talks about other women, doesn't take proper care of the kids he already has and you "love him."

Jesus H. Christ on a cupcake. I give up.

DropYourSword Thu 07-Jul-16 02:52:21

Oh yeah, very helpful Lilac hmm
How's the view up there from your ivory tower.

Sammyalowers Thu 07-Jul-16 05:08:13

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Handsoffmysweets Thu 07-Jul-16 05:25:22

What has lilac done wrong?

amysmummy12345 Thu 07-Jul-16 06:03:56

The minute he said that about you after coming out of hospital, that would have done it for me... He's supposed to love you and want you unconditionally, I would find it hard to trust with all the stuff about other women...

MrsPatrickDempsey Thu 07-Jul-16 06:45:16

What are the positives in the relationship? What do you get out of it? Is he the role model you want for your son?

user1456925105 Thu 07-Jul-16 11:57:22

Have my very first Ltb.

Sounds like you will be well rid of him. He brings nothing but negativity and emotional abuse to the relationship.
Make no mistake that's exactly what it is. My ex done the same as you dp (in this instance the d stands for dickhead not dear/darling), it started after we had our second child and only got worse. He completely shattered me. I hated myself by the time i finally worked up the nerve to kick him out after years of putting up with his shit.
He destroyed any self confidence i had in myself as a person and as a mother. Over the year financial abuse was thrown in on top of the emotional abuse and eventually it became physical.

Please please please do what is best for you and your son and get out now. While it may be difficult atm it is also so much easier to leave the relationship now than years down the line.

Don't worry about being a single mom it is hard but you can do it and you both (you and ds) be happier in the long term.

My relationship with my ex was soul destroying but so so so much worse than raising my kids myself.

(Flowers) for you.

Peach16 Thu 07-Jul-16 12:07:19

Sorry you are in this situation, it can't be easy but I personally would find a way to break free now before you get too far down the line X

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