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Which is the safer newborn sleeping arrangement?

(14 Posts)
skankingpiglet Wed 06-Jul-16 16:13:48

DD2 is 2wo and will not sleep on her back in her own basket. I know that's pretty standard stuff at this stage, so not worried as I know she'll get there eventually as much as I'd want her following the safe sleeping guidelines to the letter now. We've been co-sleeping following the guidelines for it at night, and she's been having her day sleeps in mine or DH's arms which is far from practical when we also have a toddler to keep alive. I keep trying to get her down on her own with no luck until yesterday when I put her on her tummy, and she slept for several hours. I'm a bit twitchy about this, but ok with it during the day, as she's asleep right next to us and I can keep checking her. I should mention, her neck's fairly strong for her age and she's easily able to lift and turn her head, which she does periodically. I've tried it again today and it's been another sleeping success.

I know neither co-sleeping or tummy sleeping is the ideal situation, but my question is which is the least risky option for night time sleeping? To give a bit of further information, DD2 is breastfeed, no dummy (yet), wasn't prem or underweight at birth, we're non smokers, and if in the basket at night would be right next to our bed. I would prefer not to co-sleep if possible as I find lying in the same position all night is causing really nasty back pains and isn't always the most comfortable after my cs. Sleeping in the basket would solve the issue, but I'm not sure if I'd be swapping an already imperfect situation for an even worse one?

DD1 would only accept co-sleeping as an option for many months, so not used to having a choice...

Timetogrowup2016 Wed 06-Jul-16 16:29:51

I would opt for co sleeping personally as if done safely it's ok however their Is no way to tummy sleep unless your sleep (imo) but it only increases sids risk doesn't guarantee it.
Weigh up the risks. Sometimes you being so over tired you can't function is more risky than tummy sleeping etc.
However have you tried swaddling to try and get her in her basket ?

FeckArseIndustries Wed 06-Jul-16 16:50:41

I personally would co-sleep as well. But that's how I got any sleep with mine too - also bf and following all the guidelines (no smoking, no alcohol, blanket rather than quilt etc). That felt safest to me anyway, as I was aware of the baby all night without having to move or get up to check on her.

MyBreadIsEggy Wed 06-Jul-16 16:59:47

I've done both.
My Dd was just like yours - point blank would not fall asleep on her back at all! Turns out it was because of reflux, she was in pain on her back sad my doctor suggested I let her have tummy time after feeds during one of her screaming episodes. So I put her on a mat on the living room floor, and within 10 mins she had fallen asleep on her own and stayed asleep for well over an hour. From then on, she has been a tummy sleeper - she was about 5 weeks old I think. Like your Dd, she had great neck control, and would periodically turn her head when she needed to. Even now at 14 months she will not sleep any other way!!
Obviously I was terrified the first few times!

Roomba Wed 06-Jul-16 17:05:11

DS2 would only sleep on his tummy, due to reflux. So I let him do this, but used an Angelcare monitor under him. That way if there were any issues, I was aware of them straight away. Would something like that help?

Orsono Wed 06-Jul-16 17:07:43

If you look at the Lullaby Trust website, it's possible to read the original evidence and studies that the advice about sleeping position and co-sleeping is based on. I would compare the risk factors and evidence before making the choice if I was in your position.

Icecappedpinetrees Wed 06-Jul-16 17:11:56

I'd opt for cosleep of the two. I know it's uncomfortable. I know you end up aching.

We ended up buying a next to you cot as DS2 was the same, he'd only sleep right by me, touching me. He's now 8 weeks and will sleep for blocks in the cot attached to the bed.

I remember looking at stomach sleeping with ds1 and was shown this picture which shows why its dangerous. Any vomit would return into windpipe, not stomach. Once they can roll from front to back an vice versa then you can leave 'em to it!

I have a toddler too, know how tiring it is and how crucial sleep is!!

Icecappedpinetrees Wed 06-Jul-16 17:13:00

Good idea Roomba

ExtraHotLatteToGo Wed 06-Jul-16 17:18:10

I'd try a baby hammock. I've had friends in a similar situation & it saved their sanity. I'm sure you'll get one for a good price on eBay.

babyblabber Wed 06-Jul-16 20:46:41

I'd pick co-sleeping out of the two. Have you tried a cocoonababy? Nearly like co-sleeping and baby on their back but in a position slightly raised at the head, she might like it.

If you're putting her on her tummy at night I would defo get an angelcare for extra reassurance.

user1467554098 Thu 07-Jul-16 08:56:01

I got the chicco co sleeper when lo wouldn't settle in his basket and I would fall asleep with him in bed which scared me to death. It's great it's just like your in bed with them! I also read the baby whisperer which gives brill tips of how to help your baby self settle, I use to have massive problems getting my lo to sleep it could sometimes take 2 hours! Now when I see the 1st sign of sleepiness I swaddle him and out him down and within 10-20 mins falls asleep without crying!

skankingpiglet Thu 07-Jul-16 21:24:32

Thanks for all your responses. I was of the feeling that co-sleeping was the better option, but was hoping maybe they were equal-ish risk factors... Thank you Orsono, I didn't realise the Lullaby Trust had the comparable risk factors on their website, they were particularly helpful in making a decision. I'll continue to co-sleep for the short-term (and research a good local chiropractor!).
We were planning on moving DD1 into a single bed in a few months when DD2 outgrow the basket and needs her cot bed, but perhaps we should think about doing it sooner. We used the cot bed in a side car arrangement with DD1 so think the same could work again for this baby. At least that way I can sleep however I'm comfortable with just a head and arm draped into the cot.

I haven't tried swaddling as that is now also against the safe sleeping guidelines, and it feels like once she gets to big to be swaddled we'd be back to square one with her need to feel snuggled up.

I'm going off to Google baby hammock... that sounds interesting!

dinodiva Sun 10-Jul-16 07:53:54

Have you tried a gro-snug? It saved our sanity in the early days. It's a sort of cross between a sleeping bag and a swaddle, without the actual faff of swaddling. We found DD slept much better and it was easier to transition her from arms to lying - I'd feed her zipped into her snug and then lay her down.

As soon as DD learned to roll she has preferred sleeping on her tummy which has made a world of difference to her sleep. We coslept before that (from about 4.5 months - 6 months) and I didn't necessarily face her whilst sleeping - she went through a phase of wanting to hold hands whilst she slept so i kicked DH out and she slept in his spot!

buntingbingo Sun 10-Jul-16 08:04:59

We had a cocoonababy that we used from about two weeks. It was amazing! She slept like a dream. I don't normally go in for gimmicks but this thing was honestly a life saver. And she's still a good sleeper now.

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