Parenting at 40 (ish)(8 Posts)
I'm a new user to mums net and I've joined to ask you all to kindly recommend some blogs written by dads who are 40+ with babies/small.
My husband and I have a 13 year old son. Husband is 38 and I am 33. I'd love to add to our family but he is worried that by the time I could get pregnant and have a baby (or 2!) he'd be 40+, which he worries is too old.
I disagree but I think reading and learning about the experiences of other dads of a similar age would be more helpful than my insistence!
So, I'd be really grateful for any and all blog / website recommendations.
My FIL was 51 when dh was born. He was a great dad and never regretted having his boys. And lived to see both his grandchildren. Dh was 40 when our youngest was born. That is not exactly elderly, you know. Being in his mid-50's with two teenagers is not a problem. Let's face it, any adult is going to seem ancient to a stroppy 16yo; it won't help if you are 35 rather than 55.
Unless you have specific health problems there is no reason you should not be as active in your 40s and 50s as in your 30s. There are professional footballers who are your dh's age. I bet they run around a bit more than you'd need to as the parent of a toddler.
I honestly just wonder if anyone would actually write a blog about that specific thing...it just seems like such a non issue (not wishing to be unkind in anyway), I live in an area where most woman have their first baby in their 30's or 40's. I had my 4th at 40, my only issue is/was that I need to keep physically fit and look after my health to increase my chances of living as long as possible so that I can be around when my youngest is in his 50's. My Grandfather had his children young and he is now a great great, something that I have to accept that I will never be. Other than that it's just the same.
Sorry don't have blog recommendations but I am sure there are some out there. We had our first baby at age 42 and second at age 46. (DH and I are the same ages.) I'm not sure if the actual parenting of babies and children is different when you are older parents - you have the experience of being parents already and babies are babies, toddlers are toddlers etc. What I do think is different is that we will be 64 when DS is 18 and 68 when he graduates (assuming he goes to university). That puts a different slant on retirement... I think the "new baby at 40" issue is maybe a bit of a red herring - it's really whether you are prepared to have a teenager in your 50s and 60s. Having said that, I do think that our two keep us young both physically and mentally. I would have preferred to have them when I was younger but I wouldn't change things for the world.
We have am 18 month old. DH was 54 when he was born (I was 34). He hadn't had children before. He is very fit and active (more so than me in fact!). He is able to take him off to the park for 3 hours on a Saturday/Sunday morning and they seem to have a whale of a time.
DH has no interest in the 'care' side of things though....having been used to having no constraints on his time and few obligations etc he would find it difficult if I insisted he shared the 'care' side of things (e.g. he hasn't changed a nappy on his own).
But, DH is very young at heart and is very happy to play with DS, and, as I said, has lots of fun with him outdoors. What I'm saying is, I don't think that, as long as your DH is fairly fit and healthy, there should be any problems. The only problems might arise if you expect a man to get up in the night for the baby etc (but as your husband has already had a child, he knows what's involved and maybe its worth finding out from him exactly which part of child rearing he's worried he's too old for??)
Sorry, bit rambly
DH turned 50 (and myself 40) at the time we became parents to an 8yo and 2.5yo.
Yes we are at the older end of parents in the playground (partly due to the school we chose). But otherwise age hasn't been an issue.
I need my sleep, so DH did the night waking and the early mornings for our younger one, though of course we did miss out on a lot of them.
My partner is older than me so we agreed we'd stop when he reached 45. I'm pregnant with my 3rd and he'll be 45 later this year. I think for me the only reason why we stopped at 45 was because he had children with his ex quite young so he's never had that break IYSWIM. At least now ,by the time he's 50 the kids will all be out that difficult baby / toddler stage and he can relax a bit. I'm early 30s and already feeling the different between this pregnancy and my first one during my early 20s. I don't think I could handle anymore after this and especially not in my 40s. But that's just me ,I've never oozed energy
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