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Bullying end of Y6 and Transition

(4 Posts)
Flatstanley69 Wed 29-Jun-16 13:59:49

Dd has been at her current primary for 2 years now and will be moving to secondary school in September.
She wants to be friends with this group of girls despite them pushing her out and bullying on and off for the past 2 years.
They are at the moment having transition days at secondary school and the girls despite not being put with her have sought her out and have said mean things to her. Additionally an older sibling of one of the girls has been intimidating my Dd by accosting her and saying mean things.
I have today phoned primary and informed them and asked when this has not stopped despite my concerns being raised repeatedly. I was told that it had been managed in school and no parents had been informed (one deputy chair of governors). I also said I was going to escalate my complaint and possibly remove my daughter for the final 2 weeks of primary.
I contacted the secondary school
and informed them and they assured me they would deal with it. My daughter does not want the fuss she is a people pleaser who wants to be liked and tells people what they want to hear.
Any advice on how I progress please?

Flatstanley69 Wed 29-Jun-16 14:30:05


VestalVirgin Sat 02-Jul-16 15:58:37

No idea, I think you have two problems here. One problem is the bullies and one problem is your daughter's attitude.

When I went to school, there was a boy who was hated by all the other boys. He still desperately wanted to be friends with them, followed them around, and requested to be put into a group with boys when we had to do things in groups and he had ended up in a group with girls - I didn't know him that well, but I don't think the girls bullied him, nor more than the boys, at least - he was just being sexist.

It was completely irrational, and I have no idea why he behaved that way, but what you write about your daughter reminds me of him. Perhaps some people are like cats (who are infamous for always sitting in the lap of the resident cat-hater while ignoring all those who love cats. Just, for cats, it tends to work. For people, it doesn't.)

Have you asked your daughter why it is this group of girls she wants to be friends with instead of some other group / individual girls?

Perhaps you can convince her to change her behviour patterns in the new school and try to spend more time with girls who are nice to her, or at least not actively mean.

Flatstanley69 Sat 02-Jul-16 16:36:59

Vestal - thank you for your input. We have moved on a lot since I posted. I'm doing some work with Dd on what makes a good/bad friendship.

Additionally she was invited out on Thursday with friends from her old school to do a prom/limo thing.
I had a chat with her old head who has offered for Dd to be educated off-site at her school for the last 2 weeks of primary.

I've contacted her current school who have agreed for this to happen despite wanting time to fix the situation. Additionally I have contact secondary school who have already looked at timetables to ensure Dd is not placed with these girls.

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