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Help!! At the end of tether with 18m old, just smacked his arm!! :(

(10 Posts)
Eeeek686 Fri 24-Jun-16 11:18:50

And feel absolutely awful......

He's constantly smacking us (me and 3 yr old DD), pulling hair, throwing things and shrieking/screaming.... it's mostly either just for attention (ie of I'm doing chores/trying to get us all ready) or if he gets told off or something is taken off him (eg TV remote, or anything he shouldn't have, not toys)..... just now the smack was for pulling his sister's hair for the billionth time when she wouldn't him have something she was playing with; he literally swings off it, I feel so sorry for her - I was only a couple metres away and leapt across the room to remove him and he wouldn't let go.... he's screaming my feet now and smacking me cos I won't let him repeatedly slam patio doors....

I am Really sensitive to loud/sudden noise and have admittedly shouted at him for screaming which probably hasnt helped, and his sister was pretty jealous of him when he started being mobile (he's up to running now!) and would smack him or push him if he 'interfered' with her play so I fear it's learned behaviour but have no idea how to stop it??

He's driving me mad!!

Eeeek686 Fri 24-Jun-16 11:22:52

For the record, that's the first time I have smacked him.... obviously not an advocate hence my post!!

Anyone moved on from a violent screechy toddler, and how did you achieve it - please!!!

He's a lovely little guy and really I know lots it is attention seeking but we already do lots during the day, I just need to be able to do the chores without fearing him and his sister are going to kill each other.....

He's also reeeally clingy with me atm. We still bf and co-sleep, for full disclosure.

Eeeek686 Fri 24-Jun-16 11:42:13

Bump.... blush

Daisyandbabies Fri 24-Jun-16 14:59:16

Don't beat yourself up about it. Sounds like you have your hands full flowers Don't really have much advice except to look at what factors are leading up to that behaviour. My kids fight more if they haven't had enough exercise (they're 1 and 4) so getting out the house, no matter what the weather, is a must. Also, food that I let them have really affects their mood.
You could try the 'time out ' method for any aggression and make sure you never allow smacking.
Smacking does teach smacking but I remember my eldest going through a (thankfully short) hitting stage and I'd never smacked him so it must have been somewhat instinctive. Hope things improve for you...plenty of fresh air! smile

uhoh2016 Fri 24-Jun-16 21:26:12

He sounds exactly like my 16mo he is slapping biting and trying to push the TV over constantly. I say no no no sternly and remove him away each time he thinks it's hilarious. I've tapped his hand too after a couple of taps (and I literally mean a tap not a smack at all) he then started to lift his hand for a tap meanwhile laughing away. I've started to strap him in the buggy as a sort of time out and to stop him doing any harm to himself by Pulling the TV on himself, I get down to his level giving eye contact saying no no no but it makes no difference whatsoever. The minute he's out he's back doing what he'd been told not too. Perhaps they're too young to understand it all yet x

uhoh2016 Fri 24-Jun-16 21:27:54

Also my ds is dc3 and is biting 🙈 dc1 and dc2 never ever bit not sure how to handle it

cornishglos Fri 24-Jun-16 22:20:26

Much easier said than done, but could you turn it on its head? So when he is screaming/ hitting, instead of reacting with similar, you do the complete opposite? Whisper/ hug/ sing/ walk away/ smile? Also give the attention to the injured party rather than the aggressor.

Acorncat Sat 25-Jun-16 14:39:31

I don't think they can control their emotions at that age at all so they just lash out. Mine is 21m and going through a hitting stage. I stop him hitting me if I can and ask him to use gentle hands, which I model to him. He usually stops straight away and we have a cuddle. It is hard to keep calm when you're being whacked but i think it's a stage and it's tougher for them than us (I tell myself through gritted teeth!)

chestylaroo Sat 25-Jun-16 14:47:52

Don't beat yourself up about it but find another way of removing him from the situation. Have you got room for a play pen ?.. Every time he does something just pop him in for some time out.

memyselfandaye Sat 25-Jun-16 14:51:30

Mine was the same, he went through a phase of smacking me, before he could properly communicate. It did pass, but it makes it bloody hard to like them when their default setting is to lash out at you.

My demon toddler is now a 5yr old and an absolute delight most of the time

He will grow out of it, and don't torture yourself because you smacked his hand, you will remember it for a long time, he will have forgotten by tomorrow.

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