Talk to me about a 2.5 year age gap

(17 Posts)
Heatherbell1978 Mon 20-Jun-16 07:19:35

BFP yesterday so all going well #2 is due early March 2017smile DS1 will be 2.5. Doing the usual worrying about how I'll cope and all the logistics....DS will be in nursery 3 days a week so that'll help of course. Interested to hear your experiences that's allgrin

babyblabber Mon 20-Jun-16 10:30:36

Congrats! There is 2 years and 7 months between no.1&2 and exact same gap between 2&3 here!

I found it a great age gap. They were old enough to understand to be gentle but young enough not to get jealous and to be easily distracted by books, jigsaws etc when I needed to feed the baby.

The only thing I found hard was potting training DS when DD1 was 6 weeks. It wasn't that bad, only took a week but at time I'd be breastfeeding her while he started peeing on the floor! So the next time I waited a bit longer and trained DD1 when she was nearly 3 and DD2 was about 4 months and not feeding non-stop. Having said that it was great both times that the baby wasn't mobile and crawling around the pee covered floor!

We didn't get a double buggy and in retrospect we should have, certainly second time around as DD1 is not a great walker.

Best of luck!

babyblabber Mon 20-Jun-16 10:31:51

Potty training not potting training!

Cinnamon2013 Mon 20-Jun-16 10:35:21

Congratulations, I'm doing this now (baby is 4 months and DS 3 years). It's lovely. This stage - seeing them bond and giggle. There have been difficult times, tantrums etc but DS has words to communicate his feelings which is a godsend. He also has nursery which is a consistent thing in his life and gives him self-esteem away from the family. I wanted to wait longer (OH wanted a smallish gap though) I'm so glad we did it this way now as I think they will enjoy more of the same things.

Cinnamon2013 Mon 20-Jun-16 10:36:20

Oh yes - potty training! We got it done before baby came and that was worthwhile

Cinnamon2013 Mon 20-Jun-16 10:36:53

Buggy board on maclaran buggy is working well for us in terms of transporting them

DoinItFine Mon 20-Jun-16 10:43:01

IME this gap was a nightmare for jealousy of the new arrival.

2.5 year olds are aware enough to know they have been displaced.

I would do my best to prepare the older child for the new arrival and try to arrange things after the birth so they still got as much time with me as possible.

TurboTheChicken Mon 20-Jun-16 10:53:54

I have 2.5 years between my two, now 4 and 6. I think it's a fabulous age gap obviously some friction occasionally and a bit of jealousy but on the whole it's great.

They are good friends and play together well. I love hearing DC1 explaining life to DC2!

There's only 13 months between my sister and I, which in hindsight didn't work so well, we ended up competing for friends and even boyfriends sometimes. Life events such as significant birthdays, GCSE's, driving tests were too close!

imwithspud Mon 20-Jun-16 10:56:01

Congratulations! My dd's are 2.5 years apart almost to the day. Dd1 is now 3.5 and dd2 turned 1 a couple of weeks ago.

It's an adjustment to begin with, but it's honestly not as bad as I imagined it - you kind of just get on with it because you have to. We did potty training with dd1 last summer - which was slightly challenging, but only having one child in nappies made life much easier.

At first dd1 wanted nothing to do with her new sister, she was never mean to her, just ignored her. We didn't force the issue and gradually over time she's warmed to her. Now that dd2 is a little older and is able to 'play', Dd1 is learning how to play and interact with dd2 appropriately (as it's not the same as playing with kids her own age at pre-school) and they are really starting to build a little bond, it's lovely seeing it developsmile obviously we have to keep an eye on them together but it's getting easier as time goes on.

It's hard, I found going from 1 to 2 kids a big adjustment, and I'm almost permanently tired. But it's also brilliant at the same time. I can't wait till they're old enough to play proper little games together.

Heatherbell1978 Mon 20-Jun-16 12:56:09

Thanks everyone! It's nice to hear the positive experiences! DS1 is just hitting the terrible 2's now but it's hard to know where he'll be development wise in 9 months. At the moment it's the boundless energy....and constant injuring himself rather than tantrums. Might need to start a new thread on double buggies (or find one!).. DS1 still naps in his buggy now and we definitely need it but again, hard to know situation in 9 months. Might leave it to last minute and get a second hand one.

Marquand Wed 22-Jun-16 11:05:58

Initially it was pretty rough with us - DD adored her brother from the word go, but was very upset that she was no longer the only around. I think mixed feelings are very tough to deal with anyway, more so if you are two and a half, and have no idea about it. I bore the brunt of her anger.

But that was just the start - it's been getting better and better. DS will be 4 in August. They have a wonderful friendship and spend hours and hours playing and laughing together.

We are expecting DC3 at the end of July. DP is actually a bit worried about "how he will break into that friendship". I'm less worried - I think (HOPE!) that the new baby will just grow into the family. Both kids are very excited about their new baby brother.

needtomovesomewherewarmer Wed 22-Jun-16 11:29:53

I think it really depends on the child. Ds was 23 months when dd was born and he didn't react well. Very hurt, hated me wasn't interested in the baby. And i really don't think him being 6 months older would have changed that. He was my first born, used to my 100% attention and wasn't a 'look after the baby' kind of child. He was more of a survival of the fittest kind lol. So, I invested a lot of time in him. The baby doesn't need much when it's little so I spent all the time I could playing with him. And when baby was a little older wed go our gor an hour on our own just to the park or cafe. It worked. He's now 4.5 and dd is 2.5. They still have a love hate relationship. Some days has the perfect big bro so helpful and kind and other days he goes out of her way to annoy her and push her out.

I'm due dc3 in a week. DD will be 2.5 years. I don't know how she will react she's very much a hummus girl but she's also a mother hen herself. She's naturally a more nature child than we was at her she, so I think (hope) her adjustmrbt will be easier as i tbink she will quiet enjoy the presence of the baby to look after . in fact, I'm more worried about the impact ds going to school will have on her as it will be like her losing an arm! (Despite him being such a torment).

It's hard adjusting from 1 to 2. But it gets easier. Everyone does adjust . They just need time and patience and lots of love.

Good luck xx

minipie Wed 22-Jun-16 15:49:57

We have 2 yrs 5 months between DDs. It was, I'll not lie, very hard at the start - even with a lot of help. I think DD1 would have been hard at that age no matter what (she is a very erm high maintenance child), but sibling jealousy and less time to pander to look after DD1 definitely made it tougher. Also not helped by BF difficulties and constant colds (despite DD2 being born in March which I thought would help avoid bugs).

However once DD2 got to about 4/5 months and DD1 got to 2.9+ it was all much easier, and has (broadly) carried on getting easier since then (now 15 mo and 3.6). They have a really lovely relationship, bar the odd squabble/altercation. Their needs are similar enough that it's easy to find activities, outings, holidays that suit both, but they are not so close in age that we have two making the same demands iyswim (eg older one can feed and dress herself, mostly now sleeps through, younger one is not yet stroppy grin and older one should be out of tantrum stage by the time younger one enters it)

Digestive28 Wed 22-Jun-16 19:46:05

Working ok for us but still early days. Initially, lots of people offered to take older child put so I could rest but she actually wanted to stay with me and baby all the time...so instead asked people to help with food, cleaning etc so advice is ask for help but you may not know what help is needed until baby arrives. Also of beastfeedimg introduce a bottle quickly. Baby is refusing and it would be so much easier to have 1:1 time with oldest if could leave baby for a while with someone. We had some lovely trips out when I started mat leave and waiting for baby then baby arrives and they've suddenly stopped seems a real shame.

Daisyandbabies Wed 22-Jun-16 21:27:38

Perfect age gap. Couldn't have timed it better, imo!

Woodenmouse Wed 22-Jun-16 21:32:59

Ds1 is 2years 8 months and absolutly adores ds2 15 weeks. I'm not going to lie it's really tough but I wouldn't change it.

Stoneagemum Wed 22-Jun-16 21:44:07

In the distant future depending on how the school year split falls you have double exam stress A levels & GCSE's at the same time.

Didn't cross my mind either at the time but I'm approaching it now and considering shares in a vineyard taking dividends in finished product to cope wink

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