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so upset at what this horrible teacher done to my daughter

(48 Posts)
sammyjayneex Fri 17-Jun-16 16:23:47

So my daughter is in reception. Shes 5 years old. She's quite close to her teaching assistant and has a bond with her. Today her main class teacher wasn't in, it was just two teaching assistants. My daughter always writes her teaching assistant little notes and ALWAYS well behaved in school. Today in the playground she put a little note in his teaching assistants pockets, the teaching assistant knows my daughter meant no harm but this teacher from year one class came over and laid into my child telling her she shouldn't being doing this and proper shouted at her to the point my daughter wet herself. I was told this after school. I am fuming that this teacher didn't follow their school policy by taking the child to one side and talking to her to tell her she shouldn't be doing it, instead she shouted at her in front of the whole playground and my daughter wet herself and ever since shes come home she's very teary, sitting in the toilet crying. Every time she talks about the incident she's crying. It's really affected her. I spoke to the head and parent support worker and they've said they will investigate and I will need to come in Monday. My daughter absolutely loves school and even goes to hear one for extra work coz the reception teacher feels she's advanced for her age and now I'm worried this will set her back and she won't want to go. How far would you take this? I don't see what need it was for a grown woman to lay info my child just for giving her teaching assistant a bloody note! She's not even my
Daughters teacher. All the teaching assistants were in shock in what this teacher did and the teaching assistant in question was in tears after school cos she knew my daughter didn't deserve this. I have been crying myself the thought she wet herself out of fear really hits me

Floggingmolly Fri 17-Jun-16 16:26:02

Who did you get the story from? The TA who was also in tears?

RiverTam Fri 17-Jun-16 16:27:37

I appreciate that sounds very horrible but it happened today, by the time she's back at school on Monday it may well have been forgotten by her. I would wait to see how much she's really affected by this incident before taking it any further. Teachers aren't perfect, they can't get it right all of the time.

Hope she feels bett soon. It's the weekend.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster Fri 17-Jun-16 16:31:08

I think it's ridiculous that a teacher is shouting at a child for such a thing.

I wouldn't be happy and would want to know that this isn't going to happen again.

sammyjayneex Fri 17-Jun-16 16:40:48

I got the story from one assistant which wasn't the one involved and then I had to confirm a few details with the one in involved as the other didn't know. Then I went to speak to the head.
Yes teachers get it wrong and are not perfect but she didn't follow the policy of he school. The policy is if you feel a child has done something wrong your supposed to take them to one side and explain their behaviour to them, she didn't she shouted at my daughter and out of fear my daughter wet herself
Ever since she's been back home she she's been going into the bathroom saying 'she wants to peace and quite' it's not like her at all

lougle Fri 17-Jun-16 16:58:00

That's very upsetting. I hope it's sorted out soon. flowers

Givemeabone Fri 17-Jun-16 17:09:12

I get that teachers grt thingd wrong but this teacher shouted at your child so much that she wet herself in fear. That is absolutely not on.
I would be furious!
Will this teacher be your dd's teacher next yr?

Florentina27 Sat 18-Jun-16 00:13:09

I would be furious too. Being weekend might not be the best thing as she might hold her unhappiness until she goes ba h to school and see everything is fine,.first day is always awuful and really hope kids won't make fun over her wetting herself. Hope she'll get over it soon

SuckingEggs Sat 18-Jun-16 00:17:39

Poor little lass. It sounds like it was very badly handled. Hope she's ok.

Bedsheets4knickers Sat 18-Jun-16 00:18:54

Yep id be furious .. I bet said teacher won't have an easy weekend .. I'm sure she's regretting it . Quite rightly so .. Hope your daughters ok. Can you update on Monday ??

ExitPursuedByBear Sat 18-Jun-16 00:22:47

I'm amazed anyone knows the school policy on what happens if a child had misbehaved.

calamityjam Sat 18-Jun-16 00:35:34

I would be absolutely furious op. That is disgusting behaviour from the teacher. What exactly did she do wrong? Poor little lamb, no wonder she is upset, I would be upset if a grown woman had laid into me about something like that in front of my friends.When ds2 started nursery, he had turned 3 the day before, he had been playing out at play time and upon returning to the classroom, ran back out to play. He didn't realise that playing out was only at certain times. She ran after him and pulled him back into the classroom and screamed at him in front of the whole class. At the time there were other parents there (They were running a trial scheme where "rising threes" were allowed to attend nursery with their parents for a few weeks before their birthday). She called him a little monster and he too wet himself with fear. My friend called me that night and told me what had happened. I was beyond furious and went in the next day and tore strips from her, backed up by the nursery assistant who verified the story. If I were you I would follow this up and demand an apology.

armyofthree Sat 18-Jun-16 00:38:28

Ok as a teacher myself - this is really strange - why would the teacher get cross about notes?? What has the child done wrong? Have I not understood the situation?? You were absolutely right to check facts and go to the head.
Firstly I'm a parent of three and although I know what school life is like and yes we do get it wrong, your child is upset nothing else matters. Completely understand you are so upset.
If there isn't more to this story e.g. Your daughter was involved in a bigger incident which warranted a telling off e.g she hurt another child etc then you and your daughter deserve an apology. Furthermore the head needs to do everything in her power to make sure your daughter is back at school feeling happy and secure.
If you are not happy with the outcome take written accounts and ask for chair of governors to investigate and how your head has dealt with it.
As you said your daughter loves school so she should stay there and the school needs to work to ensure she feels better and nothing so ridiculous happens again!

Good luck and like others said she will forget about it. Go for distraction and treats for being a grown up girl who can put bad things behind her and focus on positives.

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Jun-16 00:55:49

That sounds really awful. I'd definitely take it up with the school as this is totally inapproprbehaviou ron the part of the teacher.

However, your primarily is to help your dd process. She felt afraid and it is sometimes quite normal to wet yourself when you feel afraid. You might also make a job about this funny lady on mumsnet who sometimes wets herself a bit when she coughs (me!) You want her to see this is not the end of the world and lots of people do accidentally wet themselves a bit at times.

The teacher was wrong and it will be good for your dd to know at this early stage that teachers can make mistakes.

Let her tell you how she feels, don;t try and chivvy her out of it straight away, but in the long run I would try and discourage her spending too much time in the loo, because it sounds like she is worried it may happen again and this might make it happen again at some point. So I'd want to emphasize how the teacher was wrong to shout rather than how she wet herself.

Good luck.

Italiangreyhound Sat 18-Jun-16 00:58:02

Sorry keys sticking!!!

However your primary need now (IMHO) is to help your dd process what happened today.

and might also make a joke about this funny lady

SinisterBumFacedCat Sat 18-Jun-16 01:14:08

I appreciate that sounds very horrible but it happened today, by the time she's back at school on Monday it may well have been forgotten by her. I would wait to see how much she's really affected by this incident before taking it any further. Teachers aren't perfect, they can't get it right all of the time.

I would suggest that a teacher that lays into a 5 year old child in a crowded playground until the poor child wets herself and leaves even her adult colleagues in tears, then goes away and forgets about it over the weekend SHOULD NOT BE A TEACHER.

Stressed or no, that is awful behaviour. OP I hope your lovely DD feels better soon. flowers

borntohula Sat 18-Jun-16 01:30:40

poor little thing, i would be fucking fuming... definitely take it further angry whether or not you want to acknowledge they exist, some teachers seem to just dislike children

SomeDaysIDontGiveAMonkeys Sat 18-Jun-16 02:12:07

No matter what, screaming at a child to the extent they are so terrified that they wet themselves, is out and out abuse. That TA shouldn't be anywhere near a child.

sammyjayneex Sat 18-Jun-16 10:50:04

Thanks everyone X.

I took her out for tea last night to cheer her up. She looks a lot better today. My daughter said she tried to explain to the teacher what she was doing but the teacher wasn't listening and just shouted. I'm seeing the head teacher on Monday after school after she's had a word with the teachers. Hopefully this teacher learns from this and changes her approach

Kennington Sat 18-Jun-16 10:53:40

I'd check the facts of this before you storm in. It doesn't make much sense.
I don't doubt this happened but it is really odd.
Also for the TA to cry is really odd.

Waltermittythesequel Sat 18-Jun-16 10:55:24

This sounds horrifying.

Frightening a child so much that she wets herself in front of the whole playground?

I would be fuming and I wouldn't let it go.

Don't be surprised if come Monday, the head has changed her tune. Principals stand by their staff first and foremost in my opinion.

sammyjayneex Sat 18-Jun-16 10:56:53

I've explained to her as well that she's done nothing wrong. Her dad is a parent governor in her school, and he knows how this is the way teachers should behave

sammyjayneex Sat 18-Jun-16 11:03:45


This DID happen. The TA was upset because she knows how well behaved my daughter is and she knew she meant no harm and she saw this other teacher treat my daughter like that she got upset. She even herself told me herself she would take it further and said she herself was going to speak up the head over this teacher.

3luckystars Sat 18-Jun-16 11:18:26

Bring her dad with you on Monday , nobody should be shouting at a 5year old until they wet themself in fear. I would go in on Monday with her dad and ask for a meeting with all involved.

therootoftheroot Sat 18-Jun-16 11:22:22

i don't understand why the teacher would think she had done anything wrong? if reception kids are writing notes, that's a GOOd thing-it shows they are embracing writing surely? I am trying to envision what happened? what did she say when she told her off? was she telling her off for approaching the TA? i don't understand the 'crime' for want of a better word

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