acceptable MIL behaviour

(22 Posts)
mumto1babyboy Fri 17-Jun-16 06:35:48

Is it acceptable for a MIL to resent you because she can't have her grandchild all the time!!?? My MIL resents me and it shows !! it's like she wants baby all to her self constantly and her behaviour is scary. I used to get on with her so well before baby was born literally We were so close!
But now.. !! Is different story!!
We left LO with her for few hours the other night and I went to kiss him goodbye and she just looked at if to say, he's with me now u can go!

Jasperkiss5 Fri 17-Jun-16 21:48:04

Anything else other than looks? Like what is she actually doing?

MajesticWhine Fri 17-Jun-16 22:02:28

What makes you think she is resenting you? The example you described sounds like standard mil behaviour, excited to be in sole charge of her grandchild.

PotteringAlong Fri 17-Jun-16 22:04:02

I think the problem here might be you, not her.

Jasperkiss5 Sat 18-Jun-16 07:41:25

Disagree with the other posters and it isn't acceptable to want somebody else's baby all to your self all the time. It's selfish and possessive. Normal mil behaviour in most cases, sadly, but not acceptable.

Scoopmuckdizzy Sat 18-Jun-16 07:48:43

MILs

Scoopmuckdizzy Sat 18-Jun-16 07:52:45

MILs get such a bad reputation on MN. Seems they can't do right for doing wrong.

I have similar issues with my DM wanting my babies all of the time and whilst it's annoying I'm also so pleased that there are more people in this world that adore my children other than their parents.

BertrandRussell Sat 18-Jun-16 07:54:53

Can you say some more?

BertrandRussell Sat 18-Jun-16 07:55:36

"Normal mil behaviour in most cases, sadly, but not acceptable."

Really?

Jasperkiss5 Sat 18-Jun-16 08:56:56

Yes. Mils, most of what I hear of from family and friends, even my own experiences, just have no boundaries. They often act like the baby is actually their own child that they gave birth to. It often goes beyond having love for a grandchild and I believe stems from issues they have with control.

BertrandRussell Sat 18-Jun-16 09:20:23

grin Bodes ill for pushing 50% of the population, then!

Scoopmuckdizzy Sat 18-Jun-16 10:45:00

I actually can't believe I'm reading this!

BertrandRussell Sat 18-Jun-16 11:08:35

Mils are completely fair game on Mumsnet. Any suggestio. That there may be the remotest fault on the dil's side is greeted with a torrent of criticism.

swamitjanet Sat 18-Jun-16 13:01:47

It's like anything on here, you're only ever going to hear about the nightmare MiLs, just like you only hear about the terrible relationships. You won't find it balanced with loads of boring threads about wonderful MiLs and husbands will you.

swamitjanet Sat 18-Jun-16 13:02:29

And fwiw mine's lovely grin

swamitjanet Sat 18-Jun-16 13:06:03

And fwiw mine's lovely grin

Toooldtobearsed Sat 18-Jun-16 13:10:43

Jesus.

Yes. Mils, most of what I hear of from family and friends, even my own experiences, just have no boundaries. They often act like the baby is actually their own child that they gave birth to. It often goes beyond having love for a grandchild and I believe stems from issues they have with control

Absolutely ridiculous. These beasts from hell are no doubt good enough to babysit, when you want it, will be vilified for not jumping in to cook a three course meal when you have a sniffle, and will never, but never live up to your parents perfect behaviour.
I hope you all have daughters.

OP, are you reading too much into it, do you think? I babysit for my DiL and when she first started leaving baby with me was very tearful about leaving and, naturally, a wee bit clingy. I could have sat and watched her getting more and more distressed about having to gok or could do what i did.

Simply picked baby up, said 'kiss for mummy', walked to the door, opened it and me and baby waved her goodbye. It was the right thing to do for my DiL, the longer we sat, the harder it was getting for her. Could this be a similar scenario?

Baby amazingly survived with the evil MiL she was left with.

MrsSpecter Sat 18-Jun-16 13:12:43

My MIL is actually my EXMIL but i still see her regularly as she comes to collect DC and will do baby sitting if i need it. We've had our rocky moments but overall she is just a nice lady who enjoys seeing her grandchildren. She's a bit overbearing with the hugs and kisses but its just out of love. She brings me a gift every mothers' day and texts me to say how good a mum i am to my DC.

SpaceUnicorn Sat 18-Jun-16 13:14:54

Yes. Mils, most of what I hear of from family and friends, even my own experiences, just have no boundaries. They often act like the baby is actually their own child that they gave birth to. It often goes beyond having love for a grandchild and I believe stems from issues they have with control

Absolute rubbish hmm

strawberrybubblegum Sun 19-Jun-16 07:11:23

My MIL is wonderful. She doesn't overstep boundaries at all, and is incredibly helpful and giving of her time and love. DD absolutely adores her.

FIL is fab too.

JessicaRabbit3 Sun 19-Jun-16 07:29:43

I get what your saying. My exmil was like this intinally she wanted me to have an abortion as apparently I was ruining her DS life and he wouldn't be able to have fancy holidays. She was nasty towards me during my pregnancy even to the point of booking a holiday when I went over to miss the birthhmm she saw pictures of him and suddenly she was heartbroken and desperate to come home. When she came to see him she was extremely possessive would snatch him off me, discouraged me from breastfeeding, undermined me as a mother shouting at me for giving him homemade blended food in stead of the jar. I got a vibe she treated him like a he was her child so I totally get where your coming from. Ex thought I was mad but it was the vibe she was giving out sometimes it's hard to explain it. She went mad as my own DM had DS overnight so she had to him the next DM. She didn't buy us any equipment but once he was here bought everything for her house of course down to a high chair, bouncer, car seat pushchair, cot 😕 She even snatched him from my friend at his christening and caused a massive arguement before hand. Best thing was when he left me. Got a lovely mil now x

liquidrevolution Mon 20-Jun-16 10:19:42

My MIL accused me of poisoning my DD when she was 10 days old.

I get that some MILs are fab but equally there are some that are batshit.

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