The whining...oh my god, the whining

(18 Posts)
Mytummyisnotatrampoline Mon 13-Jun-16 08:55:39

I. Am. Going. Crazy.

DS is 2.4 and was a very early talker. He talks constantly (there is literally not a moment of silence when he is awake) and I'd avoided tantrums thus far as he was always capable of explaining how he was feeling/ask for what he wanted.

He's always been a tad on the obsessive side and the new obsession is TV. There's a particular programme he adores and would watch all day, every day, if given the opportunity.

Part of the obsession is putting the DVD in the machine and pressing the remote. It was fine at first - he is always supervised and was fine to relinquish the remote once he pressed his button - but now he MUST HAVE THE REMOTE AT ALL TIMES. Think grabbing, screaming, crying etc. when told no.

Obviously, this isn't behaviour I want to promote so DVDs have gone away and the DVD player is "broken". I'm figuring out of sight, out of mind.

But recently - and not just with the TV- his whining has got out of control. When told no about anything (or asked to wait, or to share or...) he responds with a full on grating whine-noise attack. More often than not, this results in him scream-crying and lying on the floor.

I'm not sure if I'm approaching these the right way. First, I tried ignoring but almost an hour later he was still howling on the floor. I'm now doing a mix of explaining why he can't have said thing/telling him to stop whining and use his words/naughty corner as a last resort. The only thing that seems to work is the naughty corner, but it obviously isn't that successful as he's having upwards of 10 of these "moments" a day.

I realise that he's 2 and pushing boundaries/dealing with new emotions etc. but I thought I had another 10+ years before I reached the teenage angst stage.

Anyone got any advice on how to best deal with this? I don't think I'm doing it very well sad

CornishTea Mon 13-Jun-16 08:58:55

Get him a toy remote control.

I feel your pain daily! shock Literally anything can set mine off.

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 09:09:24

Dd1 was an early talker the words are there but the understanding isnt iyswim so they can say what they want but dont understand when they cant have what they want. the whinging is ordinary under 3 behaviour it drives you nuts get rid of naughty corner it just feeds his attention seeking and even negative attention get him to come sit by you instead he will thrive on it try distracting him pre empt the dvd wanting put it on for him before he asks for it set a routine when he can watch some tv. His tantrums will be exhausting dd threw epic ones <sigh> his behaviour will change you are trying hard with him its fine to ignore the tantrums a big hug once they are finished andcarry on with your day it will pass honestly just be consistent

RebelRogue Mon 13-Jun-16 10:10:40

Daft question..how are you ignoring him? I used to let dd have her tantrum and i'd go in the kitchen or bedroom(i live in a flat so all rooms on the same level). Banging pots and pans or drawers helped as well,as she'd get curious and come and see what i'm doing/what's going on.

Mytummyisnotatrampoline Mon 13-Jun-16 13:39:34

I tend to walk away and just do what I was planning on in the first place. For example, if the whining is about putting his shoes on, I'll go put mine on and get ready to leave.

He's a stubborn one and would rather "win" than have fun.

It'll pass. It'll pass. It'll pass. Repeat.

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 13:44:56

He sounds a character it will pass just say to him mummy is going and if you have time wait him out

RebelRogue Mon 13-Jun-16 13:47:09

Op how far are you willing to go? Just go on the floor and tantrum next to him.proper wailing,arms trashing,feet stomping tantrum. It works. X

Itsaplayonwords Mon 13-Jun-16 16:01:38

We tend to set timers for things and it seems to give DD an idea of what to expect. For example getting out the bath was guaranteed to start a tantrum, or telling her that it was time to go to bed, or leave soft play but if we give her forewarning and set an alarm on our phone for 2 or 3 or 5 minutes, she seems to understand that there's a limit and when the alarm goes off she is prepared for what happens.

If it's something she wants but can't have then we try to distract her with something else but tell her to stop whingeing and ask nicely if she wants it.

Both of these are working for now but I've probably jinxed it and it'll all be out the window by next week!

MrsJayy Mon 13-Jun-16 16:50:22

I had an egg timer thing (well it was a freebie from the dentist so was a big tooth) for dd2 she used to dither and whinge about stuff noepic tantrums though i would set it for her she enjoyed the game of beating it,

Eastie77 Tue 14-Jun-16 22:17:49

I have now hidden our remote control, switched off the TV and told DD it is broken as I could not deal with the whining and hysteria anymore. She would literally collapse to the floor in tears and rage if I dared to use the control as she is apparently the only person in the family who is allowed to touch itconfused.

She is also completely obsessed with the DVD player and screams every morning that she wants to watch her Peppa's Circus DVD. I curse the day I bought the blasted thing.

Sympathies OP. It's all just too exhausting.

HappyGoLuckyGirl Tue 14-Jun-16 22:22:50

My DS (couple of weeks off 3) can be quite whiney.

It's just bloody grating more than anything.

I've started to try and make things a game if he is whining about doing something which seems to be working. Failing that it's a consequence followed by a low tone 1-2-3. If I get to 3 I follow through with the consequence no matter what.

bakeoffcake Tue 14-Jun-16 22:26:18

Have you ever heard the phrase "the terrible twos". It's called that for a reasongrin

It will pass.
If I saw a tantrum coming, I'd always try to distract them, so say something to get their attention in a loud voice "oh look at that lovely robin in the sky" "do you remember we're having <insert favourite food> for lunch/smack" "I'd love to play <fav game> "Oh I can't get my shoe on, silly mummy can you help me" etc etc

Yes, you feel like a knob but who cares if it stops a tantrum.

bakeoffcake Tue 14-Jun-16 22:26:56

Snack NOT smack!!

MadamDeathstare Tue 14-Jun-16 22:29:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CuntingDMjournos Tue 14-Jun-16 22:33:01

Oh god this is my toddler (2.8). After an hour of whinge whinge whinge mummy mummy mummy waaaah waaaah waaaah if I didn't give her 100 per cent attention on a school and work morning trying to get 3 kids out the house I started shrieking whaaaaaaat! Whaaaaaaat do you waaaaaaant back at her in her same whiny tone of voice, she looked a bit shocked and actually shut up for about 2 minutes. I
Shall we just lock them all in a room together with one remote control and let them fight it out grin

CuntingDMjournos Tue 14-Jun-16 22:36:56

RebelRogue
We copy tantrums (not often, if only I had the luxury of time to have a tantrum) and it is very effective
I am always saying "stampy foot!" and copying her stamping feet back at DD3 - she does such comedy stamping (where did she learn it??) she hates being mimicked and developed a more complicated left-right-left-right stamp with a two footed jump at the end to try and prevent us mimicking her - didn't work 😂

Numbkinnuts Tue 14-Jun-16 22:37:01

This will pass then they become teenagers and that's a whole load of new whining smile

SeaEagleFeather Wed 15-Jun-16 19:16:50

Does it ever actually stop between age 2 and .. oh ... 20?

Our 8 yo can whine for the olympics

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