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21 month old hitting

(3 Posts)
alfmum14 Wed 01-Jun-16 22:16:32


I was wondering if anyone could give me some advise please

My 21 month old has started a phase of hitting other children when we go to toddler groups. I have been telling him no and that he shouldn't hurt other people as its not a nice thing to do but he tends to just laugh at me. He is a very loving boy generally but recently he has started hitting especially when someone has something he wants.

Wonder if anyone had any tips on how to stop this.

Torchlight86 Wed 01-Jun-16 23:11:52

I had the same thing when my DS was little, he's 4 now and is basically totally out of it, he would also not take me seriously when I told him to stop so I had to get strict!!

I adopted a 0 tolerance rule, on the way to wherever we were going I would be constantly telling him

'No hitting, it hurt and makes people sad, come see mummy if you are upset' etc over and over, really drum it into him, then I would say just before we went in

'Remember no hitting, if you hit we will have to leave darling because it is not fair on other children to be hit' blah blah, I would always do this in a pleasant none confrontational way, then do as it says on the tin, if he hits, even once pull him aside calmly tell him

'You just hit X, that hurt X, mummy is going to take you home now'

And leave, we would talk about it from time to time, like 'remember when we had to leave X because you hit, that was horrible wasn't it, next time we can stay longer because you have learnt it's not ok to hit'

Don't dwell on it but make sure they are aware that it is them that are responsible and them that have the power to change it

I don't know if this is good bad or indifferent advice really, but it worked for my DS

Good luck, And try not to worry, I've seen no end of threads on this and friends have all gone through it, I think it's just a phase for most kids smile

MrsA2 Thu 02-Jun-16 07:46:34

I have no magic solution but wanted to let you know that we are currently in this phase with our nearly two year old DD. She's been doing it on and off since about 15 months but how much worse. Plays brilliantly with older kids but hits kids her own age - almost guaranteed to do it at any toddler group etc. It drives me insane! I follow her like a hawk and try and stop her getting close to other toddlers, I'm not sure that's helping in the long run but I just can't bear her hurting someone else's kid!

We say "no hitting, use gentle hands" and then make her say sorry to the kid but she then tends to talk about it a lot afterwards "hit John, not nice hit John" and we now ignore the chat as I think she was enjoying the attention from us saying "no, we don't hit our friends, that's not nice".

We are also starting to move towards leaving places if she hits or taking her to the side away from the fun. I think she does actually understand if we take her to the side (kind of timeout style, but I sit with her throughout) as often she breaks down into tears and asks for her soft toy. I then let her cuddle me but say "no you can't have X as you hit".

I'm not sure what's working and what isn't and am trying really hard to stay consistent but it's difficult!

Look forward to hearing what advice you get and what works for you. Keep posting, I'd appreciate sharing experiences on this over the next few weeks as it's fairly challenging!

Really hoping my DD doesn't discover biting, that seems even more awful than the hitting/pushing!

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