feeling lost

[Rockelburger]

I have a 2 week old girl and today was my first day alone with her after husband went back to work. I was worried to be alone and completely responsible for this tiny baby but the day flew by.

Only thing is hubby came home from work and went straight to sleep for hours. I'm now feeling lost. Was really looking forward to seeing him and now feel alone. I know he needs his sleep, but I do all the night feeds so he shouldn't really be this tired. Anyone else experience this?

[mellowyellow1]

Have you tried talking to him? He's probably knackered too and no idea how hard it is for you! And if you are doing night feeds he might still be waking up anyway because of the baby, I know my boyfriend does.
Hope you're okay

[caffeineneeded]

Awww not sure this will help but I was absolutely rubbish at being at home with new born... I used to jump in the shower just before husband got home (at 6pm lol) to ensure I looked clean (baby had severe reflux so seemed pointless showering ever because I had baby sick down me all day even though prior to baby I showered twice a day lol) anyway... When my husband came home from work I just handed baby over the minute he walked through the door as if I didn't I probably would've gone crazy. I was willing to take the risk of extra dry cleaning for his suit due to baby sick but I needed help and we both chose to have a baby so we both had to take responsibility no matter how tired or miserable we were. I still did all feeds but even now a couple of years on if I need help and he's walking through that front door I just say I'm going to lay down I need a rest and let him help regardless, I then give him a lay in at the weekend. Hope you sort a routine that suits you both though! We never did but we both found it very difficult and kindve survived the first year

[Rockelburger]

Thank you both. I did talk to him in the end and didn't mention his sleeping, just my feelings of lost and loneliness. He gave me a big cuddle which helped. I've also started to write my feelings down which helped to get it all out. Just felt like I didn't achieve anything today, couldn't even leave the house as torrential rain and can't drive cause of C section! I wish paternity leave was longer.

This was my first time on here and first post, thank you for the support. Just knowing I'm no alone has helped massively

[HonniBee]

Hi,
How are you doing today?
I'm in a kind of similar position- DS is 11 days old and DH has had to go in for an important meeting today. He's self employed so it's a case of no income if he doesn't get back to it. It's so sad though, that we don't get more time as a family.
How are you doing today? Maybe we can keep each other company while we adjust?

[Rockelburger]

Hi honnibee. Today I'm actually feeling a bit more positive despite a rough night.

I feel a bit like I used up all our time with visitors round, was lovely to see friends and family but now I crave a day with just the baby and my husband.

I have planned to register the birth one day next week so he will not take a days holiday for that. I don't even want to go out necessarily, just want to cuddle up.

Being self employed is a tough break. I hope you get some time together soon. I find myself wanting another bank holiday just to get some extra family time.

[Touchacat]

Congratulations on your new baby girl! Those first few weeks after dh goes back to work are really tough and I don't remember them that well - I just remember desperately trying and failing to get some sleep! I was really lonely as no-one else with tiny babies wanted to meet up and I didn't have family near by. Now I look back (my baby is nearly 1) and realise if there was one thing I'd do differently, I would have watched more Netflix and eaten more junk - basically, I should have embraced the time alone a bit more. And, I should have got on Mumsnet more where I could have whiled away my days chatting to others in the same boat.
Also, I'm sure it's also a bit exhausting for our dh's even though our exhaustion eclipses theirs!

[Rockelburger]

I don't think the weather helps. It's just so grim, it takes your mood down and makes me feel trapped in the house. Can't drive as had c section, I had visions of lovely strolls around my home town in the sun with the buggy. In reality I'm sitting on the sofa watching the rain out the window and wishing the time away till husband gets home, when he'll probably go to sleep for hours again .

I have a friend visiting tomorrow though so that should break the day up

[HonniBee]

How was your husband when he got home today? Did you have a bit more time with him?
We survived our first half day alone. Another half day tomorrow before we have a full one on Friday and Saturday.

I think you're right about weather making it harder! It's tough being indoors all the time! Good plan to get friends round- that will help.