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Should I be worried about my son?

(6 Posts)
MrsBB1982 Fri 27-May-16 11:55:14

Looking for advice please. I'm not sure if son is behaving normally for a 4 year old or not. Ill try not to drip feed. He's a sweet, caring boy. I get loads of cuddles and when he's settled he's a joy to be around. However he's really testing the boundaries. Everything (I mean everything) he has to disagree with. The sky is blue. No it's not it's red etc.

He's been 'feisty' since he was a baby. For example at bedtime he would kick/hit/thrash/scream sometimes for over an hour. This started well before he turned 1
He started talking at a fairly normal age and certainly has a good vocabulary now but I think a lot of phrases he says he just copies and doesn't really understand
Mood swings - he's so loving and caring but he can flip on a dime. He really can be Jekyll and Hyde. I can't always see a trigger
He hates lots of noise/large groups

His behaviour is better at home, I think because there's less noise & people. School are really struggling with him. He seems emotionally very immature. He doesn't seem to understand how to join in with the other kids.

His concentration has been awful but seems to be getting slightly better
The main issue is lashing out. He usually has something that he perceives as a trigger but it's very minor, name calling etc. He says 'I really try but can't stop it happening'

He's getting really stressed - I can see that because when he's stressed/anxious he jumps up and down/falls to the floor/waves his hands/makes high pitched repetitive noises. When he's really anxious he even hits himself.

I wondered about ASD (poor eye contact, obsesses over a certain thing like car washes, poor social skills) but his speech is good and he's so loving to people he's familiar with so he doesn't really fit into an Aspergers/autism bracket? I think it's starting school that's brought it to a head.

Sorry - that's such a ramble. If you managed to get to the end of it and make any sense of it then suggestions would be very gratefully received

BarbarianMum Fri 27-May-16 12:50:50

I think perhaps (gently) that your perception of children with ASD is rather limited. Certainly nothing in your post precludes your ds being on the spectrum (esp the bits about good speech and being loving) whilst several of his behaviors suggest that that this might be something worth investigating.

I'm not diagnosing of course but it really is a big old spectrum and children present in many different ways. Starting school often brings issues to the fore as the social and sensory demands it places on children are so great. Maybe do some more reading up around it and then decide if you can 'see' your son in there.

KatyN Fri 27-May-16 13:22:52

My son is four too and I can't identify with your post. He gets frustrated when he can't do something but his emotions are mostly understandable. I hope that was what you were asking. Would the school be able to help?

squizita Fri 27-May-16 13:24:08

The spectrum covers a range of elements - it's possible, for example, to be pretty much neurotypical in one and struggle with others.

For example I have sensory issues. However my communication is so 'typical' I trained as an actor and worked in theatre for a while and all my jobs have been public-facing.

You have probable spoken to many neuro-diverse people in your time and not really noticed. Most work, get married etc etc - but worry for years till they realise they are wired a little differently.

If there is an issue, quick diagnoses will help him. Don't worry, he won't be whipped out of school to a special class or anything!! He won't be completely labelled.

MrsBB1982 Fri 27-May-16 13:27:28

Thanks. Like I said it was a ramble so probably came across badly. Sorry.

From what reading i have done I was wondering more about PDA. He does seem to tick a lot of the boxes but equally wasn't sure if he's just an extreme end of normal IYKWIM.

MrsBB1982 Fri 27-May-16 13:38:27

Oops. Cross posted with a couple of you.

KatyN that was what I was asking! I went to school this morning and all the parents were invited in to see the kids work. It was loud, busy and chaotic (not in a bad way, just not the quiet start he needs). I could see him spiralling and showing all his stress signs. I'm sat at home worrying that it will be the wrong start to the day and he'll lose it. My heart breaks for him.

squitzita thanks. I think that's what I find confusing. He seems so normal in some ways but in others obviously isn't. My husband is dyslexic and felt very 'labelled' and worries something more 'serious' on the spectrum will mean he will have to leave the school

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