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What do you do when you need to take a step back, bit can't leave the child?

(5 Posts)
LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 26-May-16 20:29:33

DS is 3.4, DC2 due in September. All kinds of stresses at work / home at the moment mean my temper is frayed and I keep loosing it.

DS is being particularly difficult. Nursery have issues almost every day. I am struggling and often failing to keep my cool. I'm ashamed to say I've smacked a couple of times (never hard, barely a tap. Absolutely not on though).

My issue is that I know when I feel my temper rising I can walk away, take some deep breaths, and deal with the situation much more effectively. But what do I do when I can't safely do that? For example, tonight DS lashed out at our dog. Absolutely no reason or warning, DS just started yelling, grabbed the poor dog by the tail and pulled him across the floor. Obviously I HAD to intervene straight away, I couldn't leave them alone so I had to prise DS off the dog and hold him away. The whole time DS was screaming, slapping, scratching at me and I lost it and shouted at him. DS became hysterical, the dogs were terrified. I had my husband to take over so I could get the dogs out.

I feel like things are out of control, what do I do? Every morning I swear to myself I'll keep calm and every day I lose it.

LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 26-May-16 20:30:31

Sorry for typos blush

corythatwas Thu 26-May-16 20:33:45

First of all, you could try disengage mentally by focusing very strongly on something else, like an image in your mind, and just going through the physical motions.

Secondly if you do have to pull him away hold his arms firmly so he can't hit or scratch: this will make you feel less stressed. (been there)

If the screaming gets to you could you try singing, or repeating a mantra (like "no love I can't let you hurt anyone, I am not going to let you hurt anyone")

LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 26-May-16 20:38:14

Thanks Cory, great suggestions. I try to hold his arms down but he's like a bloody octopus and I can't get hold! He's so strong and I'm always afraid I'll hurt him.

uhoh2016 Fri 27-May-16 18:01:53

Can you make an area that's for him when he's lashing out that you could put him in time out but that's safe? Big cushions etc that he can throw himself about on hit or throw without hurting himself or causing damage and let his frustrations out, a place he can destroy or hit out that that he won't get into trouble for and somewhere he will learn to go to when he's feeling angry or upset

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