Noooo. Dbaby is broken and I can't find a guarantee.

[loosechange]

He won't stop crying unless he's being held by me, preferably sleeping on one exposed boob, although at a push I can reclothe.

He is declining tuneless songs and cuddles from his siblings, and putting him down got me into a lot of trouble. Who needs words to shout?!

I can't find his warranty, and am not sure I could face returning him, collection was bad enough.

Any suggestions?

[lljkk]

There MUST be an EU directive covering your consumer rights.

[FuckingFattyBitch]

How long have you had him? Have you found the off switch yet? Mine doesn't have one but I suspect mines an older model. The new ones may have had them.installed?

[loosechange]

He's fairly new. Bollox. I must have picked up an older edition. My nipple is currently wondering what rights it can demand.

[P1nkP0ppy]

Don't they have batteries?
Perhaps you could have a part exchange?

Many sympathies, dd was like that for the first 22 months

[VagueIdeas]

Mine is just out of warranty and has turned into a demon baby. Why do all appliances break just after the 12 months has elapsed?

[FuckingFattyBitch]

Cheating bastards, I'd be asking for a refund . I thought the off switch was standard wishful thinking now.
Have you tried turning his volume down?
Failing that I have no idea. I still can't work mine and I've had him nearly 10 months.

[mumonarocket]

Mine is faulty too. It won't nap even though it is obviously exhausted. I want a refund.

[SloppyDailyMailJournalism]

If your nipple's OK just stick him back on the charging station until he's fully charged and leave him alone - he'll probably go into sleep mode.

[DropYourSword]

How long have you had this model for?
I've only had mine 4 weeks and discovered the same issue. There was clearly a faulty batch. (I've also found a vibrating rocking swing thing to be helpful!)

[TotalConfucius]

I've heard there is a bug in the software of the newer versions.
My 1994 and 2001 models are operating quite well, although the 2001 version still makes odd noises at times, sort of grrrr sounds. Seems to happen mostly when we say 10pm curfew or you're not going.

[FuckingFattyBitch]

total my mum has an 02 version and they seem to have the same issues as the 01...I'm a 91 version myself. That batch was obviously awesome

[SloppyDailyMailJournalism]

total I've got the 2001 model too and have the same problem. Mine gets an energy surge about 10pm though. My 2003 and 2006 models have a quieter engine but are a livelier user experience.

[wonkylegs]

Mines 5wks old and on the charging station now but doesn't ever seem to fill up. Thankfully mine seems to have a tilt switch that means crying stops when held upright, not so great in the middle of the night but it at least puts it in silent mode.
You'd think I would have learnt when I bought the previous version.

[FuckingFattyBitch]

wonky I have an 08, 13, and 15 versions. The 2013 one worked perfectly until the warranty ran out. Now it seems to be in "destroy all humans" mode

[Brainnotbrawn]

I had a similar problem when my last was born a few years back. Coincidentally or not I bought an expensive breast pump from Amazon around the same time, to feed said infant, which worked but still needed to be replaced due to a problem with the plug.

Amazon told me I needed to send the pump back before they would send me a new one. 'Score' I thought to myself, I would send the baby back too since without the pump it was only going to complain a hell of a lot more as the food ran out. Unfortunately Amazon we not an enthusiastic about this suggestion as I was and sent on the second pump before I sent back the damaged one. Feckers. The second pump was fine but the faulty baby is still around somewhere although he is no longer a baby.

[Brainnotbrawn]

• were not as

[NaraDeer]

My 2013 model has developed a curious glitch. Upon hearing the word "No" it starts emitting a very loud, continual, high pitched noise.
A biscuit seems to reset the unit so the noise ceases.

[FuckingFattyBitch]

Raisins reset mine Nara but never for very long.

[wonkylegs]

I have an 08 and 16 version, many similarities but many differences. The 08 version seems to have developed a glitch in its listening software.

[FuckingFattyBitch]

wonky yes I've noticed that with the 08. It's very frustrating.

[loosechange]

I tried to fix the situation by getting water into the batteries by putting it in the bath. Only temporarily quietened by being damp, the new model must be water resistant also.

[Cineraria]

We had this problem too but found ours could be controlled using the television's remote control, although the buttons do different functions, e.g. switch TV on and baby is muted, select YouTube and arm thrashing baby goes on pause mode. Just beware of use whilst breastfeeding as clicking any button results in baby rotating at speed, causing severe nipple discomfort.

[EasterRobin]

I suggest asking your DP to try to return it to a store about 30 mins away. Enjoy your hour of silence.

[Twistedheartache]

I have sympathy - perhaps there is a repair option?
My 2014 (54 plate) version is currently doing forward rolls in the cot, but switches to stood up instant screaming mode in a flash if kissed goodnight and left alone.
I'm considering part exchange - she has the bluest eyes, curliest hair, cutest smile & is tidy and helpful apart from at bedtime so I reckon I could do well. Am looking for a model that sleeps

[CutYourHairAndGetAJob]

Mine is broken too, I would return him but I don't want to send him back the way he came...