tips to stop 3.5 yr old friends son being mean/jealous of 18m old

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

My friends son (3.5yrs) can be so loving towards my son (18m) at times but others just very jealous which he shows by being a bit mean to him.

He's almost twice his size and will walk right up to him and basically puff his belly out in an "intimidating" manner, call him ugly, snatch toys off him, immediately try to push him out of the way so he can play on the truck or jump on a bouncy chair for example instead, just typical things like that. My friend does tell him off but has a habit of making empty threats and if he feels sorry for himself for being told off but actually shows no remorse she'll immediately shower him with love - which I get, everyone parents/disciplines differently.

But it does irritate me. A lot! At the end of the day I don't like those actions towards my baby, I can't help it! Now my LO is getting older and more independent I don't want him learning from him but I guess at the end of the day it's how I deal with it when the time arises.

Can you think of any tips we can try to curb this jealously and the way he deals with it? He is given equal love and attention by both my friend and I, and I always play and include him.

Thanks in advance.

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Bump

[kiki22]

There's not really anything you can do its the mum that's the problem allowing him to be mean. Unfortunately ive a few friends I have to avoid seeing with the kids because I don't want ds around there kids, one of them doesnt make her daughter share but expected ds to share with her to stop a meltdown so I had to pit a distance between us its a shame because we got on great but I couldn't force ds to play with someone that was making him unhappy

[TendonQueen]

Have you stepped in yourself at all? I would, for example, say 'No, we don't call people ugly. It's not nice', take toys away that have been snatched and return them to your son, say 'No, don't push' and move him off the thing he's pushed his way onto, for the things you list. It might help to do this at your house rather than hers so you can take an explicit 'my house, my rules' approach.

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Yea I've done all that tendon I'm running out of ideas! I've been consistent from the beginning and I just thought it would have got better by now, not worse. I don't want to lose a friend over it though so hoping something can be done!

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Atm LO isn't phased at all and completely ignores. And if he snatches a toy he really likes DS has actually grabbed his phase or pulled his hair to tell him off!