3.5 age gap - how do people find it?

[milkyman]

Have a six week old dd and 3.6 ds. Obvs he's not interested in her at the moment but how do people find it as they get older. Is it a good age gap in terms of how to cope?

[Mrscog]

I have a 3.2 year gap between mine. To start off with, quite easy, then there's a really hard stage when they're 1 and 4 - the one year old will just wreck everything the 4 year old likes doing - elaborate brio sets, Lego, playmobil etc. In my experience the 4 year old also wants loads of attention, but you have to also prevent the 1 year old from harm at the same time. Still not found a way around it but the younger one is getting better at not putting everything in his mouth which is helping a bit.

[Afreshstartplease]

I have a 3.11 gap and when DC4 is born I'll have a 3.6 gap too

DC2+3 are now 3 and almost 7, they are now in a place where they will play together but as you said when small the older wasn't interested in the younger at all

[Naty1]

Ive got 3.1 gap. Eldest is 3.11, youngest 10m so not much further on. They do play together a bit. A little bit sadly though dd1 is off to school in sept so they wont have much chance to play together during the day.
Hopefully they will interact even more when dd2 can walk

[Naty1]

Mrscog thats something for me so look forward to soon then. Though dd1 is more a reader/imagination/ than lego construction. Or will be until the youngest can be around small pieces.

[Whathaveilost]

Never had any real issues. Ds1 is now 19 and Ds2 is 16.

I think when they were younger there was an issue around bed times as Ds1 would be 12 therefore ds2 would be 9 and they ended up going at roughly the same time but as it turns out they both go to bed fairly early anyway, even now.

[GentlyGentlyOhDear]

I have a 3.3 year age gap and youngest is currently 10months. I'm finding it quite nice actually at the minute as DD is at nursery school so I get time with DS and when DS naps in the afternoons I have time to bake or do crafts with DD. It has got easier now that DS is a bit more robust and physical as they do a lot of rolling around together and I think once DS is walking they will be more evenly matched.
The game wrecking is a pain, but we have a play pen and sometimes DD puts her doll/Barbie/jigsaws in there to prevent an attack!

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

I had 3.5 years for DC2 to 3. I found ittook an awful lto longer for DC2 to consider DC3 a playmate than with my 24 month gap from dc1 to 2. But yes it was easier in the newborn days as a 3.5 year old is generally already toilet trained and at preschool of some kind in the mornings etc.

It took pretty much 5 years til the kids with the 3.5 year gap started to sometimes play as playmates/ peers rather than like a child with a pet :o but that could be because there is another sibling closer in age and lots of neighbor kids to play with around us too - if there'd been no choice they might have been playmates earlier.

I found the gap seemed big for the first 5 years and is slowly beginning to narrow a bit... There are pros and cons. There has at least never been any jealousy, and big brother is protective of little brother (downside being littler one can be a bit dependant and rely on his older siblings, upside being they like looking out for him and still consent to do younger kid stuff with him as an excuse).

[juneau]

I have a 3.5 year gap and I think its great. They're close enough in age that you can do days out and holidays without the gap being an issue, and they're far enough apart that you get to enjoy them both separately as babies. The older one can also be useful for fetching a nappy or wipes or whatever, if needed! Plus, hopefully he's also potty trained and possibly dry at night, at nursery some days, etc, all of which makes your life much easier than if you have two with a smaller age gap. Mine at 8 and 5 now and I still think its a great gap - or rather its been great for us!