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Help I think I'm going crazy!! Stop shouting!!

(4 Posts)
Eternity12 Tue 17-May-16 18:56:47

Hi there, I was a member of mumsnet many years ago whilst I was trying to conceive and failing and at that time I got a lot of comfort from fellow mumsnetters who were in a similar situation. Fortunately after failed IVF I now have two naturally conceived gorgeous children, a girl 7 and a boy 6. My issue for which I have returned to mumsnet to hopefully seek help and assurance is that I have turned into the mum from hell!! I longed for years for my children but being a parent is the absolute hardest thing I have ever encountered. My daughter is very head strong and my son is very loud and quick to lose his temper. I have tried allsorts of techniques from naughty step to reward charts which are all successful to start with and then tail off or the kids just end up arguing about who's got more etc. They can be so incredibly loving and sweet but the arguing between them is literally driving me insane and having a knock-on effect on my relationship with my husband. They argue about absolutely everything, I understand part of that is quite normal and also partly because they are so close together in age. I just don't know what to do about it. They frequently answer me back or just don't listen to anything I say but when they are separated they are a dream, however I don't want to have to split the family in two in order to gain some tranquillity!! I have a very short fuse now with regards to their behaviour and will more often then not resort to shouting at them in an attempt to make them listen sometime resulting in me in tears and then I feel bad that they have seen me like that because I can see they are worried about 'their mummy'. I am aware that I shouldn't be shouting at them and I am also very aware that it very rarely works but its like I just can't help myself and I don't know what else to do. I've read a multitude of parenting books which again help for a while and I am enthused by the ideas in them and everything make sense but after a while things seem to slip back. Sorry about the rant but if anyone is out there who can relate to my situation I could do with a chat or some new fresh ideas?

LittleBlackDress Tue 17-May-16 19:18:12

Ha! I can totally relate. Watching with interest!

Eternity12 Wed 18-May-16 13:13:47

Hi there, Anyone out there???!!!

Update on this mornings progress. Woke up determined not to shout. Spoke to the children about how we can make a happier home and that if any of us shout we need to say 'mummy (or whoever) your shouting please talk to me in a nice voice'. We were doing so well and I'm pleased to report there was no shouting just a little grrrrrrrrr from me when my 6 yr old had a melt down because it was time to brush his teeth!! (he wanted a drink of blackcurrent first and a yogurt and to sit down and 'take a minute') this is all 2 minutes before we had to leave in order to get to school on time! So yes feeling quite proud of us all. Will see how it is after school, first half an hour is always awful!!.....

citychick Thu 19-May-16 03:09:58

I don't know how to help arguing between 2 children as I only have one.
But my DS seems to use me like a sibling and argues with everything I say. He's 9.
Last nights homework ended up in a bit of a shouty match.

Throw in a bit of PMT and boom! It's exaughsting. Shouting doesn't work. We all know that. Doesn't mean to say we all manage a constant cool head when we are being pushed to our limits.

If I remember to, I try to remove myself from his firing line. Therefore I have taken away the opportunity. Can you separate the two of them for a bit?

Well done on a quieter morning.

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