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Toddler's continued jealousy of new baby

(4 Posts)
Mawsymoo Sun 15-May-16 22:56:05

DS1 was 19 months when DS2 arrived on the scene. I wasn't surprised to find him jealous at first and trying to climb between me and the baby when I was feeding - however that did ease over time and I suppose I just thought as the baby got more interactive DS1 would warm to him. We're now 4.5 months on and that hasn't happened. He is still jealous and he completely ignores DS2's very existence. He refuses to look at him, hug him, or say his name (though his nursery minders tell me he says it to them).

Is there anything I can do to help their relationship? I've googled of course but the advice seems to relate to an older toddler. DS1 will be 2 in a few weeks and while he's developmentally fine he's by no means advanced so we still struggle with communication on anything other than the day-to-day requests for biscuits and peppa etc - so having a heart to heart about how we still love him just won't work!

He goes to nursery 3 days a week (he was in it full-time before I was on maternity leave) and on his days off we go to toddler groups and do activities that are very focused on him. So he is not starved of attention. I'm worried things will get worse once DS2 gets moving and starts getting interested in toys!

Has anyone been in a similar situation and can you offer any words of wisdom?

monkeyandlion2012 Sun 15-May-16 23:35:09

Hi bit different ages to you I've got a dd3 and ds 3.4mo. My dd tells me that she hates him and when he's crying that he wants to cry etc it's not helped that from the min he was born he has been in and out of hospital and the emergency room she has witnessed me freaking out when he turned blue which has not helped the situation. This week I've been trying something that I think might help you I've been calling her mummy's baby and telling her I love her at random times . It might semester simple but it's working i think. If all fells be reassured that that's the age gap between be and sister and we're very close nothing like the start when my sister hit me on a regular basis.

monkeyandlion2012 Sun 15-May-16 23:36:08

Not semester simple (I hate this phone)

Mawsymoo Mon 16-May-16 17:43:11

Thanks I give him "baby cuddles" where I lift him up and cuddle and tickle him often and he loves that. He doesn't seem to have any problem with me or his Dad except when we're encouraging him to interact with DS2 which makes him really annoyed.

Today I tried to initiate a game of back and forth with a toy that rolls along the floor but he took it and refused to roll it back to me and DS2. I sat down with him and explained that DS2 is his little brother the same way George is Peppa's little brother but he just said "no" and started crying. I'm starting to get really worried about this...

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