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How do I deal with 12 year old inappropriate and sexual language

(5 Posts)
libandarchiemum Fri 13-May-16 13:23:03

Every now and then I check my son's Instagram messages asI believe he is too young to have complete privacy yet. I have learned to ignore the swearing as I know they are all trying to be grown up and as long as I don't hear him physically saying it I can put up with it.

However today I saw a feed between him and a girl, didn't want to be too nosey but the word d**k and t**s caught my eye. Basically this delightful girl (same age, not same school thankfully) ask him how big his was and that she would send a photo of her top half if he did the same with his bottom half. Even though she started it he was fully involved the conversation.

How do I deal with this, do not want to lose his trust (he knows I check his phone now and then) but feel that he needs to know that his behaviour it totally inappropriate and that is not how you start a relationship with a girl.

Why cant he still be just into Ben10 and Power Rangers!!

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 13-May-16 13:36:37

At 12yo I think he's old enough to understand if you tell him that sending or receiving nude photos of anyone under the age of 18 is classed as child pornography and is a serious crime.
I think you also need to have the talk about Internet safety (again if you've already done it!), and make him realise that this girl might not be the same age as him, and might not even be a girl!

MyBreadIsEggy Fri 13-May-16 13:39:17

Posted too soon!
You obviously trust him to be mature enough for social media, so IMO he's mature enough to understand how potentially dangerous a place the Internet can be.
Threads like this make me want to keep my DD a baby forever confused

knitknack Fri 13-May-16 13:40:20

He should have been taught in PSHE that if he WERE to comply with her request he'd be legally seen as distributing child pornography (awful but true).... There are lots of examples you can google to show him. I'd also ring the safeguarding lead at the girl's school and let them know so she can also be helped! Well done fir checking!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Fri 13-May-16 13:43:28

Show him this...

youtu.be/sch_WMjd6go (It's an NSPCC thing)

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