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would you report this person and how could I go about doing it!?

(402 Posts)
sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:25:06

So we live in a culdesac and my children play out on the street. I check on them every 5-10 mins.
My 9 year old told me when I brought her in for tea that this van ( looks like it's some form of transport for dropping Off the elderly or disabled children to their homes) and he was dropping off this lady ( I think she's a member of staff he must work with as she wears a badge but I can't quite catch where she works) in one of the houses opposite to us. My daughter said she was stood with her friend and he started talking to them and they turned around and said something along the lines of 'your in trouble you, or are you in trouble or stay out of trouble you' something along those lines, my daughter didn't quite catch it because he said of and drove off. Now to me this is unacceptable, approaching young girls, making unpleasant remarks and driving off. She said she just ignored him. I've told her she should never talk to strangers and she should come straight to me as soon as it happens instead of ages after. I have seen this van plenty of times. One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van. It's just a van with Windows. I was thinking of waiting tomorrow afternoon for the van to come up and taking is reg number or approaching myself and asking him who the hell he thinks he is!

MrsMushrooms Wed 11-May-16 18:28:28

I think it's hard to tell what's happened here, if he's caught the eye of the girls or walked past them and said "stay out of trouble, you!" that's a very friendly and appropriate comment. If he's approached them and said "you're in trouble" then that's different. I think you need to better establish what's gone on

WorraLiberty Wed 11-May-16 18:28:32

Why don't you actually speak to the person yourself? confused

Start by asking him what he said.

Unless you know that, you're going to look a bit silly complaining I'm afraid.

Vixxfacee Wed 11-May-16 18:28:46

What did he do exactly?

Dropped off someone (you don't know who) and spoke to your daughter (you don't know what was said).

You don't know what she was doing.

WorraLiberty Wed 11-May-16 18:32:27

One time a man made a Comment towards me whilst I was walking down the street, I ignored him and put him down to being a rude sad man, but now he's made comments towards my daughter I'm fuming and want to report him but there isn't any company name on the van.

Was it the same man?

What was the comment?

Buggers Wed 11-May-16 18:33:32

Don't report him for goodness sake. He hardly grabbed either of them to try to abduct. He probably looked at them smiled and said stay out of trouble. If it was offensive I'm sure your daughter would remember what he said. The world has gone mad.

sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:40:11

It's not acceptable (in my eyes) to stop and approach two going girls who he doesn't even know and make comments it's just weird.

I think it is the same man yes because he is the man who always drives this van to drop this woman off. I always see this woman as she lives opposite to me but she has already left the van and went to her home and he then made these comments to my daughter and someone else's. The comment he made towards me was some time ago and he opened his window and shouted 'smile or cheer up' along those lines. He just shouts fast comments out of his window and drives off. He seems like a weirdo to me and of this is how he gets his kicks in a day he's pretty sad

sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:41:19

My daughter was just stood on the grass with her friend and wasn't doing anything to warrant him making comments like that

Vixxfacee Wed 11-May-16 18:42:12

So he saw your miserable face and said smile or cheer up??? You found that offensive?

Wolfiefan Wed 11-May-16 18:42:28

I'm sorry. He suggested you cheer up
And you want to report him for being a weirdo. And talking to kids?
You sound quite odd yourself TBH!

ManonCrempog Wed 11-May-16 18:43:17

I think you're massively overreacting to the comments he made to both you and your daughter. He sounds like he was trying (and admittedly failing) to be funny.
Being a weirdo is not a crime.

NannawifeofBaldr Wed 11-May-16 18:44:09

Could you very politely knock in the door of the lady he dropped off and ask her to have a quiet word with her colleague - just mention that although it was probably meant harmlessly his comment upset the girls as they didn't understand it and have been taught not to talk to strangers.

Don't go in guns blazing just a polite and friendly word.

PortiaCastis Wed 11-May-16 18:44:53


sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:46:00

I wasn't Miserable!!! I was walking down the bloody street minding my own business and he thinks it's funny to roll down his window and shouts comments like that to me? I was minding my own business so why do I need to smile for some sad mad like him!

And as for talking to kids, I do find it pretty weird to talk to kids he doesn't even know.

sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:47:57

Yes my kids are taught not to talk to strangers yet he thinks it's ok to encourage young girls to talk to him!!
I don't care if he's friendly or not, I don't want my daughter being approached by strange men whilst they are playing. Especially what goes on in the world today.

Vixxfacee Wed 11-May-16 18:50:07

Keep her in then and yourself because in the world we live in people (including men) may occasionally smile or talk to you both.

Buggers Wed 11-May-16 18:50:45

hmm Do you think older ladies are weird for saying hello to kids they don't know too? Or just men?

Gazelda Wed 11-May-16 18:50:50

Report him to who? For what?

He's made a passing comment, nothing more. He may be trying to be friendly?

You're right to tell your DD not to talk to strangers, advise her next time to say that to whoever is talking to her and then walk away. But don't make her think that anyone who makes a comment in her direction is a 'weirdo'.

user7755 Wed 11-May-16 18:51:42

You are over reacting, you don't know what was said.

It's not illegal or even wrong for someone to talk to kids, it's attitudes like that which are so sad in today's society. If you are unsure about him, keep an eye out and if it progresses address it then - when there is actually something to address.

sammyjayneex Wed 11-May-16 18:52:44


He didn't smile or talk to us, he rolled down his window to us and made pointless inappropriate comments to us. I'm going down my street minding my own business whys should I then be harassed by a man so he gets his kicks?
And what's the point in saying that to young girls? He didn't say hello or have a nice day, he made comments to young children leaving them confused big difference.

Buggers Wed 11-May-16 18:52:55

I'm afraid child abuse/abduction has always happened it hasn't just started happening as you seem to think.. it's just more heard of due to social media. Did you never go out as a child without your parents have a shit fit because someone said hello to you?

wannabestressfree Wed 11-May-16 18:54:50


ApologiesToInsectLife Wed 11-May-16 18:55:12

Op is getting a hard time here. I hate it when men, it's it nearly always men, do the 'smile' or cheer up love ' bollocks to women who are minding their own business. It's fucking annoying and uncalled for. Not sure what went on with your daughter, you might need to try and clarify that. He just sounds like an annoying sod rather than harmful. Just keep telling your dd to ignore him.

Buggers Wed 11-May-16 18:55:44

why do you think his getting kicks out of saying anything to youconfused from what you've said his made no inappropriate comments.. your the only one thinking about it! I bet if you actually spoke to him he wouldn't have a clue what you were on about..

coolaschmoola Wed 11-May-16 18:56:01

I'm interested to know what you think you could report him for. Talking to people, even children, in public places is not an offence.

Children tend to be safer in the street with strangers than they are at home because stranger abductions are incredibly rare - nearly all cases of child abuse happen in the child's home by someone they know well.

Of course the tv doesn't reflect that - because kidnappings make much more interesting viewing. Don't forget one of the largest hunts for an abducted child in the UK turned out to be a scam by her mother.

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