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Don't know what to do, Incressingly rude 4 year old DS

(9 Posts)
SlapACatFuckADuck Tue 10-May-16 15:58:33

I have a 4 year old DS, he is becoming increasingly rude and demanding. He refuses to do as he's told, to listen, and continuously answers back. I have no idea what to do with him.

Some of the things he says/comes out with are just horrible more than recently it has been a lot of "I hate your dad/mum" "I'll punch you in the face" We have no idea where he gets these from as we never say them let alone around him/to him. He shouts half the time and whenever he's told off and told to go on the naughty step he just stands there and say's "no" or "I'm not going, I don't want to" He pushes and hits his dad even when they're not play fighting and DP has told him to stop (something only he does with his dad) , He never does this to me but I never have or will play fight with him.

Even at nursery they've agreed he's rude when I brought it up today. He doesn't have anything in his room anymore just his bed and his brother due to being naughty and because we're moving at the end of the week so I've packed things away.

What can I do to make him into the polite little boy that he should be! He's going to school in September and he will have no friends If he carries on!

SlapACatFuckADuck Tue 10-May-16 19:42:40

Anyone? sad

SlapACatFuckADuck Wed 11-May-16 00:27:11


knittingbee Wed 11-May-16 20:00:04

Any chance this behaviour has coincided with your house move

notapizzaeater Wed 11-May-16 20:02:07

What did nursery suggest ? Has he always been like this

Wolfiefan Wed 11-May-16 20:05:14

You need clear boundaries and clear consequences.
Naughty step. He stays. Gets up. Puts back. Again. And again. And again.
Never give in.
Never ignore rudeness.
Never accept being shouted at.
If you let him get away with it or he knows you don't know what to do he will play up more.
Is this a massive change? Or a gradual deterioration?

princessbeer Wed 11-May-16 20:12:23

My dd is 3 & it's all about 'if you do that again you'll lose X or won't be able to go to the X.
I follow through with it every single time & she behaves brilliantly cos she knows she'll lose out on fun stuff.
Also star charts are awesome.
Get him involved more - helping with chores & reward him & reward his GOOD behaviour instead of just punishing for the bad. It's all about a balance I reckon.

SanityClause Wed 11-May-16 20:14:57

Have a look at How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, and Listen So They Will Talk.

It's quite a different approach to the "take all their stuff away" approach, and more logical.

SlapACatFuckADuck Wed 11-May-16 21:19:04

It doesn't seem to be, it's been going on for a bit longer and he's active in helping box things up like his toys ect, plays with boxes as a 'box troll'

One of the keyworkers at nursery told him if he wasn't nice everyone would leave him, que many questions that he doesn't want to be left. She also suggested I get him tested but imo he isn't adhd/add/autistic he can be rude.

We do the naughty step, ignoring bad behaviour he just tells me he doesn't want to do it, it'll make him angry, or continuous mum talk to me. We do stick it out though He doesn't really like sticker charts but I might give him another shot at them! He does help around the house, gets things like nappy's, wipes, puts his plate in the dishwasher ect What else can I get him to do?

I'll take a look at the book thank you

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