Sleep Problems... Advice Needed!!!

[AzuremystBrandy]

Hi

I have a beautiful little 6 month old DD. At around 2-4 months she was sleeping fantastically. I bathed her around 8-8:30, fed her to sleep and held her for around an hour before purring her down at about 10. She would sleep through most of the time until 6 or 7am sometimes later.

At around 4 months she started to wake around 4-4:30 so I would give her a feed and we would both fall asleep on the spare bed in her room until she was awake for the day.

Sometime in the past couple of months I started trying to put her down earlier, usually around 9 on average.

Now for the past month / six weeks I go through the same bath, bottle, bed routine but I hold her after she's fallen asleep for maybe around 20 mins before I put her down (mainly so she doesn't bring milk up). Sometimes she wakes straight away so I give her her dummy and she usually falls back to sleep.

Some nights she will sleep until 12 but other she cries every 30 mins or so. I go up and put her dummy in, sometimes give her a cuddle and put her back down. Then at around midnight she wakes again, won't settle so I give her a feed. I try not to fall asleep with her but a lot of the time I do. On the night that we end up co sleeping she wakes up crying frequently so she has her dummy or milk which works quickly.

If I manage to put her back down I might get a couple of hours before she wakes up crying again so I just bring her in with me for the sake of getting a bit of sleep.

A few nights ago I put her down again after this 3am waking and she woke very soon after and thought it was playtime!

What am I doing wrong/what is going wrong? Maybe it's blindingly obvious but I can't see while I'm in the thick of it.

Apologies for the long post as well, I wanted to try not to drip feed.

Thank you x

[KatyN]

Is she dribbly during the day? Hands in her mouth? It may be teeth coming through. I would give her a dose of Calpol to see if she is in pain. If she sleeps better after it, you know her teeth are playing up.
K

[hufflepuf]

Yes she's always chewing and her first teeth have come through. I sometimes give calpol but worry about giving it for too long. she seems to be the same everyday. Is that normal? She's been the same at night when she's had calpol but I wonder if its because it's worn off after a few hours?

[Cel982]

You're not doing anything wrong. This is a very normal sleep pattern for a small baby. Sleep often gets worse around the four-month mark, and if your baby had been a 'good' sleeper before that then it can be a huge shock to the system.

My baby woke every 45 minutes until she was 9 or 10 months old, so I do feel your pain. Co-sleeping was what kept me sane. Babies really are designed to sleep with their mums. Are you breast or bottle-feeding? If you're breastfeeding especially then co-sleeping and frequent feeds through the night are very very normal; I found my stress lessened dramatically once I just accepted this and stopped trying to 'fix' it.

[hufflepuf]

Thank you so much for the reassurance Cel. I think when people especially health visitors say about co-sleeping, making a rod for your own back etc it makes you question yourself. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one. I was mixed feeding but she's recently started refusing the breast so she's just having the bottle now. How does your LO sleep now? When and how did things start changing? It is more a case of worrying that she should be in her own cot and should be sleeping through because other people say so rather than it being a problem in itself.

[Cel982]

I know! I had the same experience, I spent all my wakeful nights during the first few months reading sleep advice on the internet , desperate to find an answer. Later on I even tried a few nights of letting her cry for a bit, which I deeply regret now.

There's a whole industry based on the false idea that normal infant sleep is a problem that needs to be solved, when actually it's just how babies sleep. Once I changed my expectations I was honestly much happier. I'm not underestimating the effects of sleep deprivation, because I know how tough it is, but I think the answer is to change your own behaviour rather than try to change hers, which is much much harder to do. So early bed when possible, safe co-sleeping, telling 'helpful' people to mind their own business...

For us, sleep improved hugely around her first birthday; now at two-and-a-half she sleeps 8-8 with one brief wakening around 11pm.

[murphyslaws]

Teething or sleep regression. It will get better

Look for excessive dribbling or hands in mouth.

[Fwaffy]

I agree with it being a sleep regression. She's moving from the baby sleep pattern of dropping off into oblivion rapidly, to a more regular older child pattern of needing time to get into deeper sleep, and coming to the surface for awake periods more often.

I'm a softy so for me options were a)co-sleep, let nature take its course, fuck the naysayers (sorry!),
b)bit of gentle encouraging to fall asleep without so much help from me- the No Cry Sleep Solution was a book I found useful here.

I did both of the above to some degree, gradually removing props like feeding to sleep etc (though not always because, let's face it, is there anything lovelier than having your baby fall asleep in your arms?)

DD is 2 now. Sleeping through since about 13 months and will go off to sleep herself after stories and chats and me staying for "one more mineeet"!

Do what you feel is right and don't make any decisions in the heat of the moment (frustrated, tired, burnt out)- just do the cuddling and decide if you need to try something else in the morning.

[hufflepuf]

I'm so glad to hear it's not just me and I'm not doing everything wrong. I hear so many people saying that I should be putting her down awake and putting her down for naps in the day rather than letting her sleep on me that I start to question myself. I'm just going to carry on doing what I'm doing, cosleeping and enjoying her being little and wanting to be with me!

Thanks so much for the replies, I feel much more confident and hopeful that she will sleep again! X