dysfunctional parent relationships

[cloudlessskies]

Hi all,

DH and I are currently ttc our first child but one of the things worrying me is that history will repeat itself and my child/children (fingers crossed) will not have a good relationship with us.

I have strained relationships with both of my parents, nothing major but this means I don't really enjoy spending time with them and phone conversations are done out of duty rather than enjoyment. Without going into detail and sounding self-righteous it is them that are in the wrong(stuck in their ways, obsess over little things,dull). I also think about if we do have children, does this mean I'll have to spend more time with my parents so that said child has them present as grandparents?

[uhoh2016]

It's up to you how often your dc see their Grandparents don't feel like you have to spend a certain amount of time with them. The fact you acknowledge the fact you want a different type of relationship than you had with your parents already shows how different you are. Try not to get hung up over your relationship with your dp and enjoy every minute of your dc. I'm sure you'll be a great mum x

[Mishaps]

Take heart - my poor Mum was a very difficult lady and I worried about how I might be with my own children. But it was all great - and my Mum turned out to be a better grandparent than she had felt able to be mother. So, winners all round.

My dear sister decided against having children because of our childhood - very sad really.

[cloudlessskies]

Thank you both. DH pointed out that I/we are very different to my parents so it wouldn't be the case.
Gosh Mishaps, you and your sister must have had a bad time if that is the reason she chose not to have her own. It is sad that so many people seem to struggle with parents when these are the people that are meant to love us the most....