Bad-tempered and impatient - what can I do?(10 Posts)
Sorry for the long post but please bear with me...
I'm a SAH mum to 2 kids - DS is 6 and DD is 3. They're both generally 'good' children and I love them dearly. However increasingly I'm finding myself getting impatient with them, and frustrated with them for constantly demanding things from me and 'not giving me a minutes peace'. It is a terrible way to think and I hate myself for it. I desperately don't want to be that impatient, grumpy and bad-tempered mother but as each day progresses my fuse gets shorter and shorter and my patience goes out of the window. I snap at them, tell them to hurry up, get really cross when they don't do what they're told when I probably just need to accept that they're little children and that goes with the territory.
I also find it really hard not to constantly be trying to get other things done when they're around (and then I get annoyed when I can't get anything done properly, even cook dinner). It doesn't help that we've just moved house so there actually IS a lot to do, but I feel like I'm losing the ability to just relax and enjoy them being children while they're still so little. I can't sit and play for long without getting fidgety and feeling like I should be doing jobs and I get REALLY annoyed with them if I'm trying to have a conversation with someone or do something and they keep interrupting.
I'm not sure if after 6 years at home I'm just starting to get a bit fed up, or whether my expectations that they should be able to play nicely together are unrealistic, or whether they are actually being quite demanding (DD spends a lot of the day saying "play with me play with me" on repeat, especially when I'm doing house jobs, and DS doesn't seem happy to entertain himself as much as I think he should be able to at 6). Or am I just being a grumpy b***h? Tbh it is worse at that time of the month, but I'm really worried that I'm becoming the mother I really don't want to be.
DH is great and really hands-on but works quite long hours and travels a lot, so I'm quite often juggling things on my own (as I have been this weekend). They are good kids though and as soon as they are in bed I have this huge wave of guilt that I haven't been nice enough to them or enjoyed their company as much as they deserve me to. I feel so bad. They deserve so much better.
Is the 3 year old not in nursery? Sounds like you need some time off.
Oh sod the guilt off. Doesn't do anything for anyone. You sound totally normal to me. Kids don't deserve better or worse. We're all just doing the best we can as generations before us have done. Kids survive and develop and become robust or don't. It's what creates adults.
Use your guilt energy to do something positive. And try to get some time to yourself!
They sound just like mine - same ages. I work full time and actually find the weekends hard because of the things you describe. I think it's...normal.
You are not a grumpy bitch. I speak as the inventor of the 'no questions egg timer' without which, a murder could have occurred. I needed 20 minutes without any questions every so often.
My kids got sent to bed for saying 'mummy' at the start of a sentence today.
Thanks all, reassuring to know I'm not alone. I know it's all normal stuff, I just hit a real low point this evening. I just don't want to spend this time with them being impatient they can't do more for themselves, only to look back and massively regret it in a few years time when they're all grown up. Love the egg timer idea though! Will try that. And Suzietwo, I laid into one of them yesterday because they said something quite innocent in an ever-so-slightly whingy voice. Poor kids but you're right, we all do our best and they are more robust than we think!
I can't stand the whiny voice! Especially as it seems to reserved just for me. And it can be turned on and off at will.
My no questions egg timer is particularly useful when you first come into the house. Especially with shopping. The rule us you can talk, but you can't ask questions.
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Oh I need this thread today! Thanks for making me laugh
through the tears. I am buying an egg timer tomorrow!!
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