An introvert with 3 children...?(9 Posts)
I have 2 gorgeous children aged 3.5 and 2, and am seriously thinking about having a third. I'm a SAHM and love it, we have really fun busy and happy days together and I can't quite imagine stopping now! My kids are really well behaved in general, the usual fighting over toys a bit but they mostly love playing together. But I'm also an introvert, not chronically so, but by the end of the day when bathtime's running late and there's a lot of screaming and naked jumping on beds, I just need a sit down in a quiet room with a cup of tea and NOBODY TALKING AT ME for about 20 mins. Then I'm human again... I'm also not the most outgoing person, I love my small group of mum friends but I'm a bit wary of large noisy groups, and am rubbish at remembering names so am constantly having awkward conversations with mums I once met somewhere and then bump into on the high street.
I'd love some thoughts from anyone similar with 3+ kids. Is life with 3 complete noisy chaos that would send an introvert into a downward spiral? Is it tricky later on to juggle so many activities, friends and parties? How about 3 teenagers (eek...)? Obviously giving my current children the best possible life is the priority - though my DD keeps asking for a new baby so she would at least be happy for now I'm just mulling it over after a particularly busy week of DH being away and DS being ill.There are other things to consider too, but having a mum who can cope would be pretty vital. Thanks!
I feel like I could be you. Dc3 is just 6mo and the other 2 are 2 and just 4.I work hard to get them a napping after lunch and use it to watch telly, and dh is great when he gets home and does bath and bed by himself if I want 20mims straight away.
I also encourage the children to do their yelling in another room or outside.
I don't do much in the evenings though as I am normally peopled out.
I'll really miss dd1 when she starts school in September
Mine are 2, 4 and 6. They are fab, play well together most of the time and I love their company. DH is fab and understands I need alone time, so he gives me as much as alone time as I need. Go for it!
Oh gosh I am just like you! My kids are 3 and almost 5 and I'm seriously thinking about a third as well! But I am such an introvert and I have always thought that maybe it takes a very outgoing assertive in control mom to have more than 2 kids. After my kids go to bed at night, if I'm alone then I sit on my phone, eat some dessert , and then go to bed. I don't even watch tv because it's too much noise. I get very bothered by lots of people, lots of talking, and social events that last for too long. I don't know if I'm cut out to be a mom of 3 either. There have been days where I wore ear plugs in my ears when the kids were yelling, so I can't imagine what 3 kids would be like lol
Ive been wondering this very thing but with going from just one child to two..
Ah, thanks ladies - & glad to see some of you recommend 3! I also have an idea that mums of big families must be formidable, loud & assertive, like one of the local childminders with a herd of kids & knowing everyone's name & business. SO not me. But I like a gentle parenting style & if we can make that work for us... It does sound like an understanding DH is key though & mine is well-meaning but not the most perceptive & still half a bachelor. I had to really push for any help with DC1&2, & I tend to withdraw into myself when that's not easy. His bath times are hyper noisy & long, at the worst time of day for me. Hmm, one to ponder...
On the transition from 1 to 2, I do find that they really seek each other out for company now, which gives me more chances for a quick cuppa / recharge. On the days one of them is at nursery, the other is always hanging onto my trousers.
Any introvert mums of 3+ older kids out there? I'm curious how life changes later on? Thanks!
Mine are now 12, 9 and 5. I'll be honest there's still times when it's tricky. Though they can sort themselves out much more now and can leave me along to lay in the dark bedroom or have a quiet bath, they are also more sensitive to their own needs. For instance if they want to come for a chat, I find it hard to say not now because I don't want to hurt their feelings or put them off communicating with me in the same way that you can distract and bribe with a toddler.
I am also a childminder so have full on days with little ones still. I only work four days and crave that fifth day with an empty house to renew and re energise my spirit and well being.
I am an introvert, from when my girls were about 18m and 3.5 I started finding it really hard and it took me ages to realise why. They did fight a lot and we were living in a very small cottage so I could never get away. Realising that I just needed that bit of space every day really helped, I was feeling like a failure up until then. It started to get easier when my oldest started school (except for the weekends and holidays!) but by the time my youngest was 4 it was totally fine, so much so that we had another baby! I can honestly say that it is hardly stressful now, baby is only 6 weeks but my older two are 5 and 7 and like spending time together playing upstairs and obviously are both at school now so they don't all need me at once, all day long! I know I couldn't have handled another two year gap. 4.5 years was perfect for us, I feel like I'm enjoying every minute now and I know I wouldn't have had we done it earlier.
surely everyone wants a cup of tea and peace at the end of the day? I dont believe there is such a thing as a mum who doesnt ! Even our amazing childminder who is absolutely full on with the kids all day needs a little moment away form them all and goes upstairs to sit in silence for a while when they go home!
you sound normal to me and probably more able to handle small kids than most.
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