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talk to me about a 5 year gap

(11 Posts)
kosh71 Sun 10-Apr-16 02:16:19

as per title smile pros? cons?
when did they really start playing together?

Lillygolightly Sun 10-Apr-16 02:28:06

Mine are just a couple of months shy of being 5 years apart. Eldest adapted brilliantly to the new baby and with the adventures of starting reception wasn't too fussed about sharing my time and attention. As for when they started playing together I would say from when youngest was around 18 months walking and talking and more interactive. They properly started sharing interests and hobbies when youngest was around 3. They are now 6 and 11 and still play together a lot and they are great friends which is lovely and I'm very lucky that they mostly get along very well.

My sister and I were 4 years apart...we fought like cat and dog but we had great fun with games we made up and played.

Kids don't need to be close in age to have fun together. I think it has a lot more to do with personalities some get on some just clash.

Hope that helps.

MrsTatum1980 Sun 10-Apr-16 02:37:47

6 year gap between my DD and DS. Works brilliantly for us! DD has adored her brother since day one and has been a surrogate mother...I've embraced the lazy side as she fetches nappies and waits on him hand and foot!
Play wise- from around 13 months she'd clear her bedroom floor of 'stuff'and let him play in there with her/boss him around. I was surprised as he could be in there for up to an hour until she get fed up and kicked him out! Now He's 19 months and she's almost 8, they'll play in the garden together (with me keeping an eye on them) and with happy land toys etc. She is very bossy but he tolerates that as knows no different and her name was his first word. They absolutely adore each other and there has been no jealousy on DD behalf. Perfect age gap for us and I've a close in age sister that I've never been close with.

Kuriusoranj Sun 10-Apr-16 03:11:11

Perfect for us - wasn't by design in our case, but I'm so glad of it. They have always needed different types of attention so we have had next-to-no sibling rivalry. Oldest daughter now 9, younger 4. They have played together since younger could interact at all, they adore each other and share a bed every Friday and Saturday night (we don't allow any other nights as they keep each other awake talking!)

It probably helps that my older daughter is smart but a very young 9 - asked for Playmobil for Christmas, no interest in music or popular culture, still prefers CBEEBIES and Nick Jr etc. The younger is a little more savvy, I think, so it's a good mix. They spend hours and hours designing complex Playmobil games, or the older one making a computer game for the younger and so on. It's been lovely so far.

There are 3 years between me and my only sib, we're very very close.

kosh71 Sun 10-Apr-16 22:42:31

Many thanks ladies!
can I ask how you resolved the issue of the baby/toddler naps and your older child's activities?

YolandiFuckinVisser Sun 10-Apr-16 22:51:34

DS was 5.5 when DD was born, he was great, old enough to understand babies need special attention yet young enough to enjoy playing with a baby/toddler. The fact of him being in school during the day made things easier for me too.

They have always played well together, ds being willing & happy to downgrade has had a major factor in this though, you can't necessarily rely on this.

They are 14 and 9 now and went out for lunch on their own together today. DD adores her big brother and he is happy to be seen out with his little sister. All good as far as I'm concerned!

WelliesTheyAreWonderful Mon 11-Apr-16 00:37:57

I only have one child but my DSis is 5 years older than me and it was great. We both had one-to-one time with DM as when she was an only child for a while and when I was little she was already at school. DSis was able to help DM a bit and jealousy wasn't an issue as we were always at completely different stages. She found me a bit annoying when she got into her teens and I still wanted to play all the time and I found her a bit boring because she never wanted to play! However when I reached that age we became really, really close and loved spending time together. I always loved (and still love) having someone a step or two ahead of me in life, I think those lines are likely to be more blurred the closer the age gap.

WelliesTheyAreWonderful Mon 11-Apr-16 00:47:24

Oh, in answer to your other question baby/toddler naps were less of an issue for my DM apparently as I fell asleep during the morning school run and for the other the naps DSis was either at school or on school run back home.

sausagepoo Mon 11-Apr-16 01:09:07

There is 5 yrs 1 month between my DS and DD. They are now 7 and 2. DD takes absolutely no shit from her big brother at all, he is very good with her but if anything, she's the boss. They get on really well but can argue which I hadn't expected, mainly as she wants to do what he's doing which isn't always suitable. She's also a master with tiny Lego (she won't touch duplo) play swords and nerf guns as a direct result of her older brother's teachings.

Needmorewine Tue 12-Apr-16 12:28:04

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I'd always thought DD would be an only but recently have thought hmmm could be nice. In all likelihood by the time we get around to no.2 she will be 5/6. Some lovely stories on here as everyone we know more or less has a 2/3 year gap smile

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Tue 12-Apr-16 12:43:00

can I ask how you resolved the issue of the baby/toddler naps and your older child's activities?

It's 'quiet time' activities so board games (not Jenga...), reading, screen time (TV ds3 etc), or if they're that bored they can always do their homework wink

DC3 was our 'bonus' baby I'm lucky that her older brothers (8/5) both adore her and vice versa, they love playing with her and playing with the baby toys - while she loves playing with their batman figures grin

Although I do worry how long this will last and what their relationship will be like when she's 7/8 and they're moody teenagers...

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